'Shri Krishna Karnamrita:' Forty-second Shloka

kim iha krinumah kasya brumah kritam kritam ashaya
kathayata katham anyam dhanyam aho hridaye shayah :  |
madhura-madhura-smerakare mano-nayanotsave ,
kripana-kripana krishne trishna ciram bata lambaten  ||42|| 

Simple Meaning:

A Sakhi Thirsting to See Lord Krishna

Alas, what shall I do? To whom shall I speak? Hoping to attain Lord Krishna is pointless. Leaving the story of Lord Krishna, please talk of something else (which is auspicious.)Alas,  Krishna is residing in my heart. How can I possibly talk of anyone else apart from Him ? The One whose form is endowed with a sweet- sweet smile, and Who imparts delight to my mind and eyes (is a festivity.) Alas, tormented by desire, my thirst for that same Lord Krishna is increasing every moment.

The Rasa-laden Commentary:

Gopis Searching for Lord Krishna

Shri Bilavmangal Maharaj's very life is restless for the Supreme Lover who dwells in his heart. A few shlokas before this one, expressed the lamenting of his heart. 'Alas! All the days are passing in vain. What shall I do? Where shall I go?'

Bilavmangal ji Pines for Lord Krishna

In this shloka seeing that his creeper of hope, which Bilavmangal ji had reared for a long time is not flourishing, he becomes impatient. And laments. “ Alas! What shall  I do? Whom shall I tell about what my heart ?” Disappointed and dejected from all sides, he is quiet. “How many times I have humbly entreated, called out for Him, wept and pined for Him, but even then that Ruler of my heart has not enquired about me yet. Oh, hope...now what sort of hope and hope for what?...

The Dissembler Lord Krishna

“My head is reeling, I can not, I can not think of anything. Now for what reason is this hope plaguing me? No,no I do not want to speak of Lord Krishna. Do not talk about that dissembler to me...Do not narrate His passionate episodes to me. Oh! A sort of passionate fire inflames my heart and soul by that cool talk.Let it be...let it be...stop talking of that tale which is so dear to our ears.

Bilavmangal ji Maharaj is Passionately Drawn by Dark-hued Krishna

“Is there no other beautiful tale worth telling. Alas! Alas! Why is my mind passionately drawn there, again and again? Someone kindly help me and pull this mind of mine from there. No...I am not going to again listen to that intoxicating tale which arouses passion. But, Alas! What should I do? Where am I free? I am tied in someone's love noose. My ardent longing for Krishna...reared for several ages has been stifled today. It has not been satisfied but even then there is no freedom from the clutches of hope.

Yearning for a Glimpse of Krishna

“Why is this hope clinging and swaying along with me. Oh! What should poor  hope do?The frivolous Krishna residing in my heart does not let one be at peace, in any way. Neither does He meet nor does He let one abandon the hope of meeting Him.

The Moonlike Smiling Face of Krishna

“That moonlike face of His beaming with a sweet-sweet smile...O Wealth of my heart who delights my mind and eyes like a festivity and attracts my heart! He does not let my hope become baseless. Whenever I think of uprooting the creeper of hope, that sweet extremely sweet blue-hued smiling moonlike Face makes my mind and eyes drink the nectar of his Face, and vanishes. I am left writhing as I yearn for Him. Oh ! One does not know where that Trickster hides before I am satisfied? Oh feeble desire! Even then you are still alive.

 

Attaining the Supreme Lover

“Uptil now I nurture an ardent longing to meet the Supreme Lover and am living. Oh! Why are you plaguing me now ? In my destiny...?Oh...what...should I do now, where should I go? Whom should I tell? Alas! Alas! I am caught in the hide and seek of attaining and not attaining Lord Krishna, the fulfillment and unfulfillment of my desires...