Chapter 20: Bhava Unmada, Intoxicated by Intense Longing for Krishna (part 2)

A Gopi Intensely Longing for Krishna

Shriji’s bhava unmade, a state of being intoxicated by an intense longing for Krishna, was persistent throughout the day. He would be in a condition of normal waking consciousness[1], or drift into a semi-conscious state, or swoon in religious rapture. The quantity of food intake had become meager and untimely. Taking care of him demanded constant vigilance on our part.

Vitthalji had come to Shri Dham from Rajkot during this span. He was a former acquaintance of Deviji and had been motivated by Deviji to live in Vrindavan. He used to come to the Ganga Mandir daily. Shri Radhubhai Gaurji a devotee of Shriji, had come from Mandleshwar and was staying in Ganga Mandir during these days. He stayed here for four months and saw Maharajji's bhava avastha [2], an emotionally charged state.

Although Shriji would undergo strange states of bhava dasha every day   Maharajji had told us today that he had got some indication from there (Nitya Lila Sthali, the eternal abode of Shri Radha-Krishna's divine play) that he was going to be in a state of continuous trance like state of religious rapture for a month.  

 

Shriji's Bhava Unmada

A couple of days later Shriji began remaining in a constant emotionally charged state. It was summer. When he would be semi-conscious at any moment Deviji would try to make him eat something but he would be able to have just a morsel or two and again go back into a trance like state which was beyond normal consciousness. 

Diluted Yoghurt

Since they were the months of Baisakh[3] and Jyestha[4], Deviji would make sweetened diluted yoghurt and keep it aside. When Shriji would regain a bit of normal consciousness she would try to make him drink the preparation. Sometimes he would drink the yoghurt but at times as soon as the glass was taken to his mouth he would enter a trance like state of religious rapture. The glass had to be taken away from his hand. Shriji's body had become very weak because of lack of food and sleep. His emotionally charged state of religious rapture[5]  was getting stronger. I would keep awake for the first half of the night to keep a watch over him and Deviji would do the same for the latter half.

 Shri Maharaj ji Wearing a Kopeen

If we fell asleep by mistake Shriji would be found unconscious in the compound or in the veranda or near the open drain. He would take off his clothes and throw them away except the kopeen , a loincloth. The outer gate had to be kept locked or else Shriji would slip out and was found to have fainted in the lanes

Keshi Ghat, Vrindavan

 One day Shri Maharajji slipped out quietly in this manner. We searched for him at many places but he was nowhere to be found. At 3 o' clock in the afternoon some students of Prem Mahavidyalaya at Keshi Ghat got Shriji in a tonga and arrived. They revealed that he would start dancing, faint , cry or and laugh for several hours at Keshi Ghat. Seeing this condition of his some children thought he was a lunatic and began misbehaving with him. Some of them began stoning him. A teacher of Prem Mahavidyalaya who knew Shriji, recognised him and scolding the children, drove them away from that spot. When Shriji regained a bit of normal consciousness the teacher made him sit with some students in a tonga and made him reach Ganga Mandir.

 Author Shri Manohar Das ji

In the swooning state of Shri Maharajji's profound bhava stithi[6],, padas (devotional verses) would spring forth from his  mouth. The eight sattvik bhavas[7] would awaken in him and then he would faint. After a short while, an alaap[8] would sprout from his mouth and we could guess that some utterance was in the offing. I would take a paper and pencil, sit by his side and note it down. On hearing the verse, there appeared to be no want of musical excellence. It would be appropriate to term it as an expression of bhava or love flowing towards the Lord. Big and small verses were emitted. All of them have been transcribed and their compilation titled 'Ali Bhav Nirjhar' containing 210 padas, has been published. Some of the verses are related to divine sports, some to humility and others are connected to spiritual doctrine. A few of them have been written when Maharajji was in his state of normal consciousness. Only sentimental rasik bhaktas can relish its contents.

Sometimes this swoon of spiritual ecstasy would remain for eight hours at a stretch. 27 verses have sprung forth in this state of ecstasy.. Emotional devotees sitting nearby would keep relishing its flavour. Those living near Shriji in the year-long state of bhava stithi, were not conscious that there was some other material world too. Moreover, the verses did not fail to make the described vision tangible. It is not the subject of the pen to write about who all were steeped in how much bhava and how deeply affected were their bodies, minds and souls.

 Shri Narad Muni

One is convinced by Narada's utterance that 'Mook aswadanwat ' or the ' silent relishing of its flavour, ' is enough. Someone has also called it 'gunge ka gud' or tasting feelings which are inexpressible in words.

Shriji's body was emaciated but one doesn't know from where he used to get so much energy in this emotionally charged state of religious rapture. When he would start running in this state of emotional onrush two three to four people would hold him tightly. Laughing, when he would turn around a bit all of them would fall here and there. Sometimes Shriji would lift up eight people in this state, in turns with both his hands, revolve them and put them down. Neither would he look exhausted nor would there be any change in the speed of his breathing.

On regaining normal consciousness he would be very serious and calm. Whenever his intoxication by divine madness would begin, his eyes would become red in colour, his vision would become beyond nature, and the way he would sit and get up would become extraordinary. He would bang his hands down so violently that on hearing the sound it seemed that he would have been badly hurt. He would laugh loudly 'ho-ho' at times and beat his hands down on the ground. On regaining normal consciousness no sign of any injury was visible.

 The Yamuna, Vrindavan

One day Shriji took us along to roam on the sandy banks of the Yamuna. While sitting he lapsed into a bhava stithi . He filled both his fists with dust and began eating it. When we caught hold of his hands, laughing he released his hands and again began devouring dust. Forcefully we caught his hands once more. Soon he put his mouth on the ground and began eating dust. We strived to take the sand out of his mouth with our fingers but he did not let us do so. On his becoming semi-conscious we caught hold of him from both sides and got him to the Ganga Mandir.

Gambhira Mandir

It seemed as if 'Gambhira Mandir[9]' had dawned upon Ganga Mandir in those days. A few inhabitants of Braj, who were worthy recipients would come to this ambiance and leave after getting a glimpse of this divine ecstasy. A realm of madhurya reigned in Ganga Mandir at that time. Lord Krishna's rasa[10]  was pervading the atmosphere.

A tangible proof of this fact is the following episode which Deviji herself experienced unknowingly.

One day Deviji and I were sitting near Shriji.

Suddenly seeing Shriji's tenderly soft hand I told Deviji,” Look, how soft and red-hued is Maharajji's hand.”

As soon as Deviji eagerly took his hand in hers, she lost her normal consciousness. She saw herself amidst the playful dalliance of the sakhis which was taking place in a dense forest region.

The sakhis were talking amongst themselves, “ If Lord Krishna comes here we will catch hold of Him and tie his hands today, for sure.”

 Holding the Hand of Lord Krishna

In the meanwhile, Lord Krishna arrived. Shri Deviji felt that His reddish, extremely tender lotus hands were held in her own.

“ Oh! Are such beautiful, softly tender lotus hands worth tying?” Deviji was very astonished on seeing them and thus remarked.

Soon after, she came to her senses and saw that she was holding Shriji's hand instead of Lord Krishna’s hand.

This incident confirms that 'Saints are verily the body of God,' or 'sant sakshat harertanu.' And it clarifies how inseparable was that divine realm from the world of Shriji's emotional state, which some fortunate people living close to him could instinctively relish at times.

 

One day, on having regained normal consciousness Shriji was lying down inertly. Dr. Hotichand who had come to see him, Deviji and I were sitting beside him. Knowing that Shriji was in a state of normal consciousness I went to the bazar to get milk and yoghurt. The doctor sahab also left when I was away. Deviji was sitting there alone with him. 

 Seva Kunj, Vrindavan

Soon after, Shriji got up and began moving out with profound speed. Deviji tried hard to hold him back but he did not stop. He went up to Nand Bhavan near the lane of Sewa Kunj with Deviji following him. I was coming from the front with an earthenware cup of milk in one hand and a cup of yoghurt in the other. I saw Shriji coming and his eyes were red-hued and vision was not natural.

I stopped him and asked, “ Where are you going?'

Shriji answered in a low voice, “ Nandgaon.”

I suggested, “Do not go now! Come to the Ganga Mandir first. You can go later!”

 “No! I have to!” he insisted

Seeing his serious state of spiritual consciousness I thought it was not proper to let him proceed.

“ No, No!Now now,” I said and stood obstructing his way.

“ Okay, fine! Let me have darshan of Seva Kunj, at least,” Shriji said in intoxication.

“ All right! Let us go there,” I responded.

Pot of Yoghurt

 He went to the gate of Sewa Kunj, bowed and touched the staircase, and laughing loudly ran away fast. Holding both earthen cups in my hands I tried to chase him but it was not possible to do so while holding the cups. Therefore, I threw the cups down and scurried hastily after Shriji. He reached the 'Kunj Gali', jumped up and fell down swooning. Lifting him up we tried to get him to the Ganga Mandir but couldn't do so. Placing Shriji's head on my lap, I kept sitting there. Seeing him unconscious a crowd gathered and asked what had happened to him.

“ It is a case of epilepsy,”  I replied to evade them.

Thinking it to be true they began telling us about some remedial measures. After half an hour Shriji regained normal consciousness. Gently supporting him we brought him to the Ganga Mandir.