Shri Balkrishna Das ji Maharaj
In the Baisakh month of 1947, Shriji would remain in a bhava stithi[1), day in and day out. He appeared to be in a state of normal consciousness for some moments, although he swooned several times in the day. Twenty days passed by in this manner. A house-holder devotee Shri Radhubhai Gaur had come from Mandleshwar to Shri Dham to be in the proximity of Shriji in those days. All the close inmates of Ganga Mandir were enjoying unprecedented bliss when a
great disturbance took place.
Secluded Banks of River Yamuna in Vrindavan
One day, early in the morning Shriji went with four to five devotees and sat at the secluded sandy banks of the dark-coloured, sweet-sounding, surging Yamuna, which was devoid of contact with people. Stirred by the river's rhythmic harmonious waves all the devotees' hearts were ecstatic. Lost in his realm of bhavas Shriji was gazing at the river with an intoxicating serious gaze. The threefold breeze of the fresh spring morning was producing new elated emotions with its coolness. The Yamuna was also contributing to the delight of Baisakh with
its frolicking waves.The beauty of the river banks surrounded by thick plants and creepers was unprecedented.
All the kunjas[2] and nikunjas[3] were reflecting young dawning rays of the early morning sun. The clean sand was adding to the beauty of the scene with its bright glitter.
Who knows what feelings this incomparable beauty was generating in Shriji? He was sitting in a still posture with a serious mood. All of a sudden he started having nausea and vomited. The profound depth of the atmosphere was ruined and all of us became nervous. We thought it was a case of bad bile. In the meantime he vomited a second time and got loose motions as well. He began vomiting again and having loose motions in quick succession . Seeing the symptoms of cholera , I ran and went to Dr. Hotichand's dispensary.
Getting medicine, I gave it to Shriji but there was no relief.
The Blazing Sun
The heat of the sun was increasing. Shriji had become very weak and had no strength to walk. That is why he was made to lie down in a straw hut. A couple of persons ran and got a charpoy[4] for him. Shriji was made to lie down on it and brought to the Ganga Mandir. After a change of several medicines the vomits and loose motions stopped but cholera cramps began. Every nerve of the body was contorted and there was excruciating pain. About eight to ten devotees sat pressing his nerves at several points.e
Gyan Gudri
Dr. Narayandas 'Pranjivandas' of Bombay had been staying at Gyan Gudri since sometime as he aimed
at residing permanently at Shri Dham. I ran and called him. He began the treatment.
Soon after, I rushed
and got Dr. Hotichand as
well. He sat next to Shriji. Motiramji, Deviji, Gaurji and Vitthalji sat by Shriji's side, pressing his nerves. Dr. Narayandas was giving treatment with full proficiency but the pain was increasing along
with weakness. Shriji was asking us to press his nerves with greater force as he
was not getting relief from the pain for even a moment. It was the fast of Ekadashi. Everyone was worried and exhausted from the day long tiredness.
Vitthalji sat pressing the leg side nerve and when he said that the fast of Ekadashi had made him weak that is why he was unable to put pressure and press it properly.
“Go and eat something,” Shriji told him.
It was 6 P.M. in the evening. The doctor was giving injections but not a bit of relief could be seen.
“Now Shriji won't stay alive for more than half an hour,” tired and dejected the doctor informed me.
” You are departing now, leaving the body,” bowing respectfully he told Shriji as well.
“ I am not at all worried about death but it would have been better if I had accomplished my life's mission and work,” Shriji answered in a serious tone.
“ Is your treatment over? Should I start mine now?,” Dr. Hotichand asked him
Doctor Pranjivandas when he picked up his bag to leave.
He agreed indifferently and left.
As the acquainted devotees residing in Vrindavan, came to know of Shriji's condition they began dropping in to see him. Lawyer Banke Bihari Sahab came and seeing Shriji’s critical condition made a gesture to all of us to do kirtan[5] but deeply distressed we all sat quietly. Who had the strength to sing devotional hymns? Rai Sahab, Krishnaji's father, also came to see him but went back sadly.
“ Dr. Pranjivandas left saying that Shriji won't live beyond half an hour. I too have seen the pulse and his breaking out in cold sweat. What is your opinion?”
Taking Dr. Hotichand to one side I asked him.
“What are you saying Manoharji? Do you consider Shriji to be an ordinary being? He is an extraordinarily great soul. Keep your eyes on the watch. If Shriji expires I will give you eight Shrijis instead of one. Go and bring all the small bottles of medicines kept in the middle shelf of the almirah in my
clinic,”
Dr. Hotichand responded emotionally.
I took the keys from him. As I walked to the clinic a sort of storm was raging in my mind and various thoughts were agitating me. I was thinking that such a noble saint was going through so much suffering, such pain in his last hour. How can one remember God in such excruciating pain? Shriji was leaving without giving us any guidance for our future lives. He was asking us to press his nerves more forcefully. How was it possible to meditate upon God in such a grave
condition? When a great soul like Shriji was suffering so much what could common men like me possibly do at
the hour of departure. If Shriji dies I will become an atheist.
Thus gloomy thoughts of this sort were tugging at my heartstrings. Be it so!
Bringing the glass bottles from his clinic I gave them to doctor Hotichand. Doctor Sahab picked up the bottle of homeopathic—Cupram 301 and started giving its doses after every five minutes to Shriji. The cramps lessened in just a short while and Shriji was cured. Subsequently, the physician left. It was about 10 o'clock in the night.
Lying down Shriji began to sing a pada in a low melodious voice:
' akhiyan shyam roop anuragi |
shyam varan man haran madhuri, murti ati priya lagi |
lok laj kul kaan na manat, nutan neh rangili |
koti kaam abhiraam shyam ghan, nirkhi bhai lau lini ||
sundar vadan madan ki shobha, nirkhi-nirkhi ras pagi |
'ratnahari' pal tarat na tari, param prem rang ragi ||
ankhiyan shyam roop anuragi || '
The Beauty of Dark-hued Krishna
Shriji got up at four in the morning and began singing a verse:
bhramat bhumi vraj sagari dagari, ali van kunj galin man atki |
Krishna & the Capricious Black Bee
'The heart took a round of all the lanes of Braj as a black bee but got stuck in the lane of 'Van Kunj[7].'
(Ali Bhav Nirjhar, pada no.160)
On the other hand, respected lawyer Banke Bihari thought that Shri Maharajji must have given up his body. What would the renunciates at Ganga Mandir be doing for the funeral rites so he turned up at 4 A.M.to make arrangements. But he was taken aback on seeing Shriji passionately singing a pada. Bowing with respect he left.
At the other end Shri Rai Sahab who had gone home after seeing Shriji's critical condition reported it to his daughter Krishnaji. Hearing this she went up to her chamber where she did sadhana. After half an hour she came down, made a sign (as she was observing a vow of silence in those days)to her father that Shriji would not pass away. As soon as the day dawned, taking Krishnaji along with him Shri Rai Sahab came to the Mandir and seeing Shriji hale and hearty, was surprisingly pleased.
“ Krishnaji was told by her Thakur[8] in the night itself that Shriji would not depart from this world,”
he revealed.
After a while Dr. Pranjivandas dropped in to ask about Shriji's condition and he too
was very astonished.
“When I went a bit ahead of Nand Bhavan a yellowish light was seen circling over my head. I had
barely walked ten to twenty steps when I grew dizzy, fell down and became unconscious. On returning to my senses I went home,”
he disclosed that an amazing incident had occurred when he was going back at night,
Shri Banke Bihari ji
Shriji had had about fifty to hundred vomits and loose stools during yesterday. Cramps had made the body slack and quite weak. So I went to Dr. Hotichand in the morning itself to fetch medicine. On coming back I saw that gram was being seasoned on the hearth.
Angrily I told Maji,”What is this? He has had cholera and was in such a critical condition last night. By making Shriji eat gram do you want to make him ill?”
“ Shriji has himself asked for the gram,”
replied Maji.
My anger escalated and I threw away the hot griddle with my hands, burning my fingers in the process. Soon after, I went to the market for some work.
On coming back I was aghast to see Shriji eating seasoned gram. I ran to Dr. Hotichand and narrated this incident to him.
“ Shri Maharajji is not an ordinary person. This is all God's lila, His divine play. Let Him do whatever he wants. There is no need to worry,” Dr Hotichand responded with a smile.
Coming back I sat next to Shriji in the afternoon.” In such terrible pain how can God be remembered? You did not give us any spiritual instructions as well. If you had given up your body what would we have done?” I asked.
” I knew that I wouldn't give up my body. No doubt the suffering was terrible but there was a beautiful scene in front of me in that state.
Innumerable gopis had formed a circle in the vast rasa mandala[10] of the sky's vault. Supreme Lover Krishna and His Beloved Shri Radha were ensconced in the middle. Even if intolerable pain had caused the giving up of my body I would have joined the same mandala, the divine circle,” said Shriji with a smile.
Rasa Mandala
Hearing him my
atheist thoughts were calmed. On reflecting I came to know that it was a very high stage of prema unmada of being intoxicated by selfless love for Lord Krishna.
As is evident from the following shloka of 'Ujjwal Neelmani'
'alsodwegjagaryastanavam jadimatra tu,
Ujjwal Neelmani
vaiyagrayam vyadhirunmado moho mriturdasha dash ||
abhishtalabhatovyadhih pandimotapalakhnah,
atra sheetsprah mohnishvaspatnadyah ||'
Prema Unmada
Mandleshwar
[1] Bhava stithi:
or spiritual emotion
is a state of
communion with God. It
is related to the
sub-conscious mind (chitta). When
one’s spiritual emotion
is awakened, one transcends one’s usual state
of identification with a worldly
existence. The awareness of
one’s own existence
also reduces. Thus in
a state of spiritual
emotion one transcends the
little ‘i’ and identifies
with the big ‘I’. Spiritual emotion
gives us a spiritual
experience of Bliss (Ānand).
[10] Rasa mandal:
the ritual round dance of Krishna used to be performed in temples or on
circular structures called Rasa Mandal, specially built for the purpose.
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