Crazy Meera Ardently Longed for Krishna
Seeming insane as she ardently longed for God-realization, a twenty-four to twenty-five year old girl came to Vrindavan in 1961 and began living here. Everyone started calling her 'Crazy Meera' in Vrindavan. She too would refer to herself as 'Crazy for Shyam Sunder.' Shriji would stay with his parikar or inner circle of associates in Gopal Mandir in those days. Goswami Laluji of Shri Banke Bihari Mandir would live in the other half of Gopal Mandir. The entire temple was in his possession. Incidentally Shri Meeraji also lived in Goswamiji's portion of the temple.
Old Calcutta
It seems necessary to give an introduction of Meeraji's former life at this juncture. Her ancestors hailed from Kutch, but her parents were settled in Calcutta. She had studied in Calcutta till B.A.and had done a teaching job for some time. Her pet name at home was Kumud. In fact, her father and mother were religious-minded and she too had imbibed their sanskaras[1]. Often she would go and attend the satsang of sanyasi Mataji Om Premananda.
The seat of her spiritual preceptor was at Nasik.
'Surrender Unto Me' Says Krishna in the Bhagvad Gita
Meeraji
was most inspired by the 66th verse of the 18th chapter of the Bhagavad Gita:
'sarva-dharmān parityajya
mām ekaḿ śaraṇaḿ vraja |'
'Abandon all varieties of dharma and simply surrender unto Me alone.'
She Longed to Have Darshan of Dark-hued Krishna
Bombay
Travelling with Sanyasi Mataji to many places from Nasik she reached Bombay.
Soon after, she met Shyama Mataji there. On Mataji's saying that there was an ashram of hers at Dwakra where Meeraji would get a secluded place to do her devotions in isolation, Meera went with her to Dwarka but she did not find the ambiance of the ashram agreeable. Therefore, she put up at a dharamshala[2], all by herself. Then she stayed at Bet Dwarka for some days.
Shri Vrindavan
Hearing from someone that Shri Banke Bihari Thakur is resplendent in Vrindavan and manifests for His close ones, she got restless to behold Him. She wrote a letter in her mind and prayed to Banke Bihari Thakur to call her to Him, getting an immediate response. It became unbearable for her to wait even for a moment and buying a ticket, she rushed to Vrindavan. She lived in dispassionate austerity during this year of roaming around.
Shri Banke Bihari Lal, Vrindavan
However, God Himself takes over the well-being of a person who steps out in search of Him, with a sincere heart. Stimulated by Him, saints forcefully attract that person. This is precisely what happened in her case. Even on living so very close by and having heard about Shriji, Meeraji was never eager to visit him for darshan.
Shri Balkrishna Das ji Maharaj (Shriji)
One day it struck Shriji that this girl lively independently without the shelter of a saint
was not safe for her. The resolve of saints never goes futile. Making someone the medium it is fulfilled by all means.
Kamalji, a behan[3] of Amritsar had been residing with detachment in Shri Dham for some time. She had faith in Shriji and would keep visiting Meeraji. In summer Shriji would give
sometimes
spiritual discourses to his parikar or inner circle of associates, on the terrace. Kamalji and Meeraji would sit on their roof and secretly listen to the discourse. Hearing the satsang Meeraji was somewhat attracted to Shriji but she did not have the courage to meet him, face to face. A couple of times Kamlaji got her to Shriji to have his darshan. Gradually the attraction increased and transformed into having implicit faith in Shriji. Thus, Meeraji came into the sole refuge of Shriji. She would always take up a separate room and subsist by
begging for alms in Vrindavan. After renouncing home she never left Braj and went to her house or to any other place. She had implicit faith in Shriji. Through satsang or spiritual instructions Shriji asked her to do bhajan in seclusion. She lives in austerity and is absorbed in doing secluded sadhana or spiritual practice now.
Venu Vinod Kunj, Vrindavan
In 1963 Shriji came to reside in the newly built 'Venu Vinod Kunj' with his parikar. This Kunj is located in front of Shri Radha Damodar Mandir in the Sewa Kunj mohalla. The space in Gopal Mandir was not enough and
Shriji's circle of followers was increasing. Therefore, at the behest of devotees this ashram was built in 1962. Shri Maharajji named this hermitate 'Venu Vinod Kunj' according to his liking and lived here lifelong.
You have already read that there was a great change in Shriji's nature after coming from Jagannathji. Poking a finger into his cheek and lost in some realm of bhava or love flowing towards the Lord, he would keep lying on his bed. Sitting next to him,
the inner circle of associates would go on observing him.
“ Maharajji! We too are sitting here,' one of us would sometimes say in
good humour.
“I know that,” smiling, he would reply softly.
He was just not interested in speaking much. Lesser opportunities to have fun and joke around came our way. Even if Shriji got up and sat down, he would start writing something.
Shri Jagannath Puri
The discourses which have been written after returning from Jagannath, are very serious. The bhava of spilling spiritual emotions, unrestrained laughter and jesting
which had prevailed in the Ganga Mandir now merged into some charmingly serious bhava. A different atmosphere was established in 1965.
The very same Shri Maharajji who had alerted sadhakas every single moment, began to be steeped in his own rasa or love for the Divine. Apart from his realm of Lord Krishna's lila, mundane affairs of the external world did not exist for him.
If someone remarked, “
Maharajji! It is not to be done like this but in this manner!”
He would instantly agree ,
“Yes, it is so.”
On 1st January,
1970 after the lila pravesh or passing away of Shri Hari Baba, his
indifference increased all the more.
Shri Radhavallabh ji, Vrindavan
The Yamuna, Vrindavan
When Shri Pratapchand told Goswamiji
about this and gave an introduction of Shriji as a great siddh saint he
replied, “ Everyday I would come to the roof almost at this time to observe
Shri ji strolling with a joyous gait by the banks of the Yamuna, and my heart
would be drawn to him. I would think that this gentleman was certainly some
rasik[4] saint
of the highest order. Hearing about him from you I have implicit faith in this
fact now.”
Shri Pratapchand also
talked to Goswamiji about Shriji's bhav avesh or trance like state of
religious rapture. Hearing this, he became all the more eager to see Shriji and
sought time for the same through Pratapchandji. However, Shriji modestly said
that he is such a respectable Goswami, instead of his coming over I will call
upon him someday. Thereafter, the Goswami sent his disciples to take an
appointment but Shriji was diffident. Despite trying to hide itself, fragrance
cannot be contained and spreads on its own accord.
The Presence of Two Divine Sakhis
Shri Maharajji had been
constantly feeling the presence of two divine sakhis on either side of him for
the past few days. They always stayed close to him when he stood and sat as
well as when he went to and fro.
“What will you do staying
here? Come with us,” the sakhis would say.
“No! I still have a lot of
work to do. I do not want to go right now,” Shriji would answer.
This sequence went on for a
span of six months.
Welling up with affection,
Shriji once spoke thus amidst his inner circle of associates, “ Although these
sakhis do not belong to my category, but their insistence to take me along persists,
all the time. How can I go abandoning you people, as of now. A lot of work
remains to be done.”
Once Shriji was going to
Delhi by bus and Shri Ghanshyamji was with him.
He asked Shriji,
“Maharajji! Are those two divine sakhis accompanying you in this bus as well?.”
He asked Shriji.
“ Here too, they are with
me,”Shriji affirmed immediately..
The sakhis vanished after a
few days.
[1] Sanskaras: sanskaras are imprints left
on the subconscious by
experiences in past lives,
or the present life,
which determine and condition one’s desires and
actions.
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