When the pen has stopped
writing and my heart is buried in diffidence today I am trying to muster
courage to write something about him who
wonderfully accepting me as his own forever, gave me his rare companionship
along with my residing in Vrindavan. It would be a crime not to write about the unconstrained blessing and
merciful glance I received from him, because it was a part of his disposition.
Poet Saint Kabir
'sar sar ko gahi rahe, thotha dey uday | '
'Retain
the grain and blow away the husks.'
Shri Kripalu ji Maharaj
It is essential to allude
to the sequence of happenings before I saw Shri Maharajji for the first time.
Twenty-three years of my life had been spent in the awfully filthy atmosphere
of the world but the grace of God had kept me out of wedlock. However, I
certainly shared a strong bond of love with my affectionate mother. At that
very hour, an all pervading saintly grace caught me by my hand and freeing me
from all worldly bonds gave me refuge in Maharajji's holy feet at Shri
Vrindavan Dham. A saint named Shri Ram Kripaluji Maharaj became instrumental in
bringing about this change.
Shri Ram Kripaluji was
twenty years old at that time. He was always intoxicated by the love of Lord
Krishna. When he did kirtan or sang devotional hymns with emotion even a stony
heart would melt. Moreover, tears would constantly stream down from his eyes
when he did kirtan. Kripaluji would swoon when he experienced the lilas
of Lord Krishna. He was not aware of eating-drinking and sleeping. Kripaluji
Maharaj was a good scholar of Sanskrit too. Later on, he had met Shri Maharajji in Shri Dham. Shriji had
cautioned him to keep his bhavas or love flowing towards the Lord,
hidden.
He had come to Maheshwar (my native town in western Nimar, Madhya
Pradesh). A seven day association with
him made me detached from this mundane world and sent me to Shri Dham,
Vrindavan. Four of his teachings deserve special mention for sadhakas :
Maheshwar
1)
Remembering the Name of God
2)
Constantly remembering the Name of God
3)
Remembering the Name of God with implicit
faith
4)
Faithfully remembering the Name of God,
and constantly meditating on God's Name with divine wisdom.
These teachings had left a
deep impression on me.
Vrindavan Dham
After a day or two I was
going for darshan of Shri Bihariji from the side of Motiram's house when I saw
him folding hands and humbly talking to a saint, outside the entrance of his
house on the road. I too went near and respectfully greeted the saint.
“Touch his feet. He is a great saint, “ Motiramji softly
whispered in my ears.
Instantly, I caught hold of
his feet and put my head on them. He was Shri Maharajji, the very refuge of my
life. He would not let anyone touch his feet nor was he interested in being on
familiar terms with anyone.
“What are you doing,” was his response as he
moved back by two steps.
Motiramji gave my
introduction.
Saying, “Very good, very
good,” Maharajji went away.
I went to see Shriji again
at Motiramji's residence after a gap of couple of days. He was sitting in the
inner room.
When Motiramji requested
him to meet me, he was displeased, “I do not want to meet anyone. I do not want
to increase my acquaintance with anyone in Shri Dham.
I had to come back. I went again one day with
the hope of seeing Maharajji. On hearing the sound of my approach Maharajji
quickly hid himself in a room on the second storey. The newness of detachment
had instilled humility in my heart. Greatly dejected at my ill luck I sat down
there and began weeping. With head bent I was shedding tears of remorse, when I
saw that all knowing Maharajji had got down from the room above and was sitting
in front of me. My heart was calmed by his presence. After talking a bit about
God he went somewhere.
Shri Balkrsihna Das ji Maharaj
I had stayed with a known
family in Mahu while coming to Vrindavan. Every day I would break a morsel
from the food they had given me and drink water of the Yamuna. I was not
trained in asking for bhiksha and had no acquaintance anywhere. A room
in the dharamshala of Gopinath Bazar could be somehow arranged for my stay.
I would stay put on reaching there and constantly keep chanting the Name of
God, as a daily routine.
Thereafter, I
began staying at the Chhoti Kunj of Gwalior in front of Vanshi Vat, where Shri
Ram Kripaluji Maharaj was putting up. Soon after, he left and went elsewhere.
Shri Bal Govindji, a priestly lad of the mandir, would give me some bhiksha
from the bhoga[3]
which was offered to Thakurji. In those days sectarianism was at its peak in
Vrindavan. I did not have faith in sectarianism. My heart was completely
fascinated by Shri Maharajji but he would not give me an opportunity to meet
him. I kept wandering from pillar to post but did not find a saint's refuge as per my
heart and became desperate. Disappointed, I decided to leave Vrindavan one day.
Vanshi Vat
“I am leaving Vrindavan,
tomorrow morning. Even Brahma[4]
can’t detain me here now,” I said on going to Motiram ji
I came away but Motiramji
conveyed my intention to Shriji.
“All right! Call him here
in the evening,” Shri Maharajji instructed Motiramji.
When I reached his house in
the evening I saw that Shri Maharajji was already seated there resplendently.
Touching his feet, I sat down in front. Motiramji sat near him. Shriji inquired
about my home and current mode of living in Vrindavan.
He gradually began speaking
of satsang. I was getting to hear such a discourse for the first time.
Swaying in joyous abandon, Maharajji's religious sermon was solely aimed at me.
Steeped in intoxication, his eyes were red and getting passionately loaded with
sentiment. Feeling unfit in competing with the light of his eyes, a small lamp
twinkling in the room had got extinguished. I was listening to him spellbound,
without any lethargy or negligence. The identity of the world seemed to have
vanished from my heart. This mercy, this divine discourse was just for me. I am
saying so because Motiramji who sat beside me, had long been enveloped by
sleep.
It had no inkling when the whole night passed away. It was for the first time in my life that I had sat, deeply absorbed in one posture, for so many hours.
Musical Notes of a Flute
Shri Maharajji revealed
that the power of a rasika[5] saint
of Braj is greater than that of Brahma.
It is absolutely true that Maharajji had delivered a person steeped in absolute
misery by his grace and compassion.
Jadabharata Answers King Rahugana's Queries About the Self
'rahūgaṇaitat tapasā na yāti na cejyayā nirvapaṇād gṛhād vā |
na cchandasā naiva jalāgni-sūryair vinā
mahat-pāda-rajo-'bhiṣekam ||'
(Shrimad Bhagavatam, Canto V, chapter 12,
Shloka 12)
'My dear King Rahūgaṇa,
unless one has the opportunity to smear his entire body with the dust of the
lotus feet of great devotees, one cannot realize the Absolute Truth. One cannot
realize the Absolute Truth simply by observing celibacy [brahmacarya], strictly
following the rules and regulations of householder life, leaving home as a
vānaprastha, accepting sannyāsa, or undergoing severe penances in winter by
keeping oneself submerged in water or surrounding oneself in summer by fire and
the scorching heat of the sun. There are many other processes to understand the
Absolute Truth, but the Absolute Truth is only revealed to one who has attained
the mercy of a great devotee.'
Shri Balkrishna Das ji Maharaj & Shri Manohar Baba
Staying at the Gwalior
Chhoti Kunj in front of Vanshi Vat, I began coming to the feet of Shri
Maharajji every day. I had never imagined begging for alms even in my dreams,
nor did I know of any kshetras[6].
Shri Maharajiji would take me along to
ask for bhiksha[7] and do the same himself. He did this for a
few days and thereafter I began to go by myself. I gave up the Gwalior Kunj
after some time and took up a hut at Jagannath Ghat.
Daily I would venture out
to beg for alms and after having darshan of Shri Bihariji, go to sit at
Maharajji's feet. As long as I sat there, I had the benefit of listening to
constant talk of Lord Krishna, emanating from his holy mouth. Bathing in his
boundless affection, I would return to my cottage. Whenever Shriji was in
Vrindavan he would often visit Motiramji's house. His coming brought very
lengthy and efficacious spiritual sittings. I too would be present. Veiled by
amusement, some miracles would naturally
take place through Maharajji.
Shri Banke Bihari ji
Once Gopal, Motiramji's two
month old son, suddenly took ill and was on the verge of death. The doctor's
had given up on him. Manji, Motiramji's wife, started crying. All of a sudden,
Maharajji arrived. Seeing him she wept even louder.
Looking at the baby boy he
said with a laugh, “Nothing has happened to him, he has just been influenced by
the evil eye. I have seen the lifeline of his palm and he has a very long life.
I have seen my mother removing the effect of an evil eye. Get me a broom. I
shall shake off the evil effect.”
Taking the broom in his
hand, Maharajji lit its front portion with a matchstick. He took the burning
broom over the child, twenty-one times from head to toe and thereby undid the
evil effect. A miracle took place! Gopal, the baby boy, got well in just five
minutes. He would perform such miracles and others would not have any inkling about them.
Another incident of this kind
is as follows:
A Sindhi named Bhagwan Das
used to live in a second storey room of Motiramji’s residence in Bhatt Lane.
Finding fault in Shri Maharajji's mode of living he indulged in talking ill of
him. As a result he was seized by a deadly disease. No treatment was successful
and the illness assumed a fearful form. He went to Dr. Hotichand in front of
whom he had defamed Shriji and expressed his agony.
“Bhaiya[8],
this is the outcome of talking ill about a siddh or self-realized soul. No medicine can cure
you now so you must go and ask for his forgiveness,” explained Dr Hotichand.
Bhagwan Das came to Shri
Maharajji and falling at his feet, began to weep.
Shri Maharajji said, “God
is very kind. One must remember his causeless mercy. He has salvaged so many
sinners.
A saint met me once and said God sees everything, knows everything but one thing is not allowed in his omniscience and that is, “degrading someone.” His very nature is to shower His grace on everyone; have mercy, just mercy. If we think a bit about His compassion, everything will be accomplished. God forgives everyone but there should be true repentance.”
Lord Krishna is Compassionate
A saint met me once and said God sees everything, knows everything but one thing is not allowed in his omniscience and that is, “degrading someone.” His very nature is to shower His grace on everyone; have mercy, just mercy. If we think a bit about His compassion, everything will be accomplished. God forgives everyone but there should be true repentance.”
Thereafter he was cured by
Shriji's grace in a few days.
Most of my time was spent
at the holy feet of Maharajji. Suddenly I began having fever, which rose
gradually. I left the Chhoti Gwalior Kunjand stayed with Motiramji. Shriji
would often put up there due to his selfless kindness and make me relish the
elixir of satsang. The fever kept on rising but I experienced no sort of
pain due to Shriji's presence. Physical weakness went on escalating. Without
telling me Motiramji informed my elder brother Sakhya Hariji about my ill
health. He came to Shri Vrindavan Dham at onc and stayed here for five to six
days. Even he benefitted a lot from Shriji's satsang. One day Shriji's
spiritual discourse was proceeding seriously at night. Keeping my head near
Shriji's feet I was listening to it while lying down. My elder brother and
other participants were sitting in front. The discourse was going on fluently.
All of a sudden Bhai Sahab (Sakhya Hariji) went out to relieve himself. When he
had been gone for a very long time, Shriji sent Motiramji to see where he was. Motiram
found that Sakhya Hariji was standing stupefied, outside in the lane. When
Motiram called out, he was startled and recovering himself came and sat in the
satsang.
Shri Balkrishan Das ji Maharaj, Sakhyahari ji and Manohar Das ji
On asking, Sakhya Hariji
revealed, “As soon as I came out I saw Lord Krishna standing in the lane. This
flashing vision of Krishna occurred for just a moment but I had no inkling
where I was and for how long I had been standing?”
“ I went to Vrindavan for the first time but did not come back empty-handed due to Shri Maharajji's grace,” he becomes ecstatic and exults on remembering
the incident till date.
Maheshwar
I wrote a letter to him, “Actually, I am unable to reach your holy feet so
I am begging you to give me darshan of your presence.”
When my letter reached Shriji was sitting at Motiramji's house. Manji (Motiram's wife) was preparing his breakfast. When Shriji read the letter he got up quietly and left as he was. When Motiramji brought breakfast into the room he saw that Shri Maharajji was missing. The snack was left untouched. Motiramji left to look for Maharajji but he was not to be found.
Mathura Junction
Midway from Indore to Maheshwar there is a dense jungle where wild animals live in abundance. There is a deep rocky valley on the way but
Maharajji kept on walking ahead fearlessly. A lion crossed the road before his eyes. His bare feet began bleeding because of walking constantly so he lay down at a spot. When his eyes opened he found himself in Maheshwar. Just as Sudamaji had been transported to Dwarka in
just one night similarly his well-being was taken care of by God.
Though I had written a letter to Shri Maharajji, I began
contemplating at this end, “Why should he leave Shri Vrindavan Dham to see such a worthless person like me?"
I became so disturbed on deeply remembering his divine feet that it became unbearable for me to stay on at home. Thereafter, I left for Shri Dham despite resistance by the members of my family. On reaching Vrindavan next day I learnt that Shriji was not there. I was sitting nonplussed when I got a telegram from my elder brother from Maheshwar:
Shri Maharajji has reached Maheshwar. Come back immediately.' I started off at once and reached Maheshwar, the next day.
My elder brother narrated the incident of Shri Maharajji's arrival, “Shriji came home straight. Our father was very angry with
you for having left home so as soon as Shriji called out your name on reaching the entrance, our father stepped out.
“Saying, ' Radhe-Shyam,”' Shriji asked, ' Is Manoharji at home?'
“Father had to just hear your name
and he became livid with rage, ' Which Manohar? We do not know him. Who are you? Where have you come from?' And he did not even ask Maharajji to come in.
“Instantly Maharajji walked away. He was standing at the bus stand of Maheshwar when Shri Babulal Brijwasi, a resident of that area, saw him. Insisting he took him home and hospitably served him."
Babulal Brijwasi had informed my elder brother. Sakhya Hariji came to Babulal's house, prostrated before Shriji.
Narmada River, Maheshwar
He respectfully took him to a hut at Rajrajeshwar Ghat of river Narmada, and put him up there. Maharajji's soles were bleeding. My elder brother massaged them with ghi for three days. Bhai Sahab had told us later that on touching the soles of his feet it seemed as if fire was
blazing in them. This burning sensation was calmed after three days of constant massage. After some days even my father developed implicit faith in Shriji and began calling him home to respectfully attend to his needs. I got
immense peace on beholding Shri Maharajji in Maheshwar.
[1] Shravan: is the fifth
month of the Hindu
year, beginning in late July
and ending in the
third week of August.
[4] Brahma: the
Supreme Being regarded as
personal and especially in
his capacity as Creator
of the world
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