Chapter 47: Shri Maharajji's Divine Experience & Ill Health (part two)

 

Shri Balkrishna Das ji Maharaj

Shri Maharajji's birthday was on 10^th of December. Shri Ghanshyamji returned to Vrindavan on 8^th December the day when Shriji came to Venu Vinod Kunj from the hospital. Illness had made Shriji very infirm so it was not possible to celebrate the occasion on a grand scale. Devotees were intimated by post beforehand that there would be no festivities this time. In spite of this intimation some people turned up. As decided, the function was held on a small scale. Seeing people’s fervour, Shriji  passionately got the kirtan done for forty-five minutes and sat till two o' clock in the night for kirtan. He was forced to take rest at 2 AM.

Shri Radha Baba's Internal Conflict

“ An internal conflict was tugging at Shri Baba's heartstrings since 29th November,1978 which peaked from 3^rd to 6^th December,”Shriji revealed this fact after the birthday celebrations.

Shriji has put this matter down in writing, in detail. I am summarising the episode in Shriji's own words at this juncture:

Gita Vatika

“Residing in the hut at Gita Vatika I was eagerly watching and waiting with tearful    eyes and bated breath to hear auspicious words from Shri Baba. Living in the cottage for many days, I would go near him and sit on a beautifully well-ordered seat. His glance was expectant. I would invariably reach there without any delay. My staying here with implicit belief for three to four days seemed as if I had been living here for many days. The apprehension of having spent several days here instead of  of a few hours had made me insane.

“As per Shri Baba's signal I sat near him again and said, 'The time is approaching.'

“I was repeatedly getting an indication from Shri Baba's blessed face of his taking maun for an indefinite period. I only wished that this statement should never be heard my ears.

“There is no tangible shape of my condition, but the state of sadhakas and recipients solely dependent on you, is not hidden from you. My only prayer is that Gita Vatika which has been flourishing under your compassionate vision should remain cheerful, inspired and jubilant as before.

“My eyes and heart are eager to hear this decision of yours when you will affirm, ' I will lie relaxed in this very svarupa, intoxicated on relishing the nectarous rasa of Krishna's divine sports. There is no question of my going or coming.'

 The Rasa Relishing Vision of Radha Baba

“Look at that direction, at the people coming to you. They are  unblinkingly looking at you from behind the far-off trees. Your all-knowing rasa relishing vision knows about the multitude of people who are longing, teary-eyed, queued up, pre-occupied here and there, and the extremely distressed highly advanced sadhikas. Renouncing the world these sadhikas live here with implicit faith and firm resolve. Weeping constantly their eating, drinking, sleeping and resting has all come to naught.

“There was no consolable atmosphere till 3.12.78. Several days had passed by in this manner. From the 1^st of December till the 3^rd of December, the entire parikar had just thought that such a tormenting time should never come again.

Seva Ashram, Vrindavan

“I was in the ward of Seva Ashram on 3^rd December. It seems as if I had reached the cottage of Gita Vatika from there. I started off at once with great alacrity. I saw that Shri Baba was lying down in a strange sweet pose with his finger on his cheek in his nij svarupa. Nearby, a newly adolescent sakhi[8] was present (it was Ghanshyamji in the form of this sakhi.) On seeing, he immediately turned his feet in another direction so that they should not point at me.

Dark-hued Krishna Seemed Upset At Baba's Decision

My heart felt experience was that Supreme Lover Krishna was sulking on having heard the completely changed  decision of Baba. His divine face could be seen like a faded lotus amidst the banyan tree growing at one end, and His forehead did not have the saffron coloured tilak. Merely a crown made of yellow-coloured flowers strung into a garland was posited on His head.

“7.12.78 was the day of Baba's maun. On 3.12.78 I was expecting to listen from Shri Baba's mouth his decision as per my earnest desire an hour ago. But he had arrived at this decision many days before. Baba became visible to me in his external svarupa for half a moment. Ghanshyamji was close to him, his eyes locked with those of Baba's.

“I was not astonished at this incident because I too was in that spiritual realm in my nij svarupa.

Rasa laden Svarupa of Bhaiji

 

 It was but natural for me to be engrossed in bhava, to assume the rasa-laden svarupa  of Shri Bhaiji.  I was not I in Baba's view.

'‘You had said several times that your body is not prakrit (being evolved in a natural way) then which body of yours is natural, which you talk of leaving?'I asked.

“ He will make you understand everything,”  Shri Baba said softly as he looked at me with affection.

“Date 4.12.78 The day was very pleasant. The scene of the Vatika decorated with flowers, right from the main gate to the cottage, was very charming. The splendour of the samadhi, including the cottage of Shri Baba, was truly unique. 

Festoons Made of Flower Garlands

The whole Vatika was covered with buntings and festoons made of a variety of flower garlands which were strung with shining and colourful silken cords and tied to banyan pillars. The silvery path right from Shri Baba's residence to Shri Bhaiji's samadhi, appeared as if it had been freshly showered with flowers.

“Owing to the remarkable feature of this state of spiritual consciousness and my closeness it seemed that Shri Baba had contained  me fully in his heart. He had given a silent assent to fulfill my longing. “

So be it!

Ghanshyamji

After the birthday celebrations had got over Shri Ghanshyamji told Shriji that the  rigidity which had been there in Shri Baba's thoughts regarding his taking maun  for the past so many days, had begun to show some laxity since 3^rd of December. He had even given permission to Bai to attend to his needs.

“ All right! Do as you please! Keep this physical body of mine as you wish! I have left the service of this body on you,” Shri Baba had told Shri Phogalaji later on.

Conversation Between Shriji & Radha Baba 

All this was the result of the conversation which had taken place between the subtle astral body[9] of Shriji and Shri Radha Baba. 

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[1]     Chakor: a sort of partridge supposed to live on moonbeams

[2]     Pied cuckoo: supposed to live only on raindrops, especially those falling during the autumn asterism svati

[3]     Svarupa: form

[4]     Bhava stithi: or awakening of spiritual consciousness,  a state of communion with God. It is related to the sub-conscious mind (chitta). When one’s spiritual emotion is awakened, for that time one transcends one’s usual state of identification with a worldly existence and the awareness of one’s own existence also reduces. Thus in a state of spiritual emotion one transcends the little ‘i’ and identifies with the big ‘I’. Spiritual emotion gives us a spiritual experience of Bliss (Ānand).

[5]     Subtle body:The subtle body is the vehicle of consciousness with which one passes from life to life

[6]     Radha Bhava: When the individual soul realizes its union with the Supreme Being ideally as Radha, where Krishna is the Supreme Lover

[7]     Radha Bhava: Centred on the divine love of Radha and Krishna  the worshipper is required to assume the nature, nuance and psychological state of Radha in her loving devotion to Krishna, this state is called Radha bhava or mahabhava.

[8]     Sakhi: female companion of Radha

[9]     Subtle astral body: the vehicle of concrete consciousness shaped by the pshyche (thoughts, feelings)