Chapter 15: Ushaji Resigns as Principal-Thakurji Ascertains That it is Time to Cast off Worldly Bonds (Usha Bahenji's Birth Anniversary: 30th July,2026)

With tenderness and teasing, mischief and spontaneity, Krishna passionately draws His hungering devotees. A heart steeped in His madhurya , exuded through His acts and gestures, His words and His flute, His clothes and His sports can not be interested in the mundane.

Bobo ji's Yugal Sarkar, Shri Radha-Krishna

Shri Radha-Krishna the Yugal Sarkar or sacred couple were a witness to Bobo's activities and reigned over her devotional imagination.

Bobo ji was Drawn to Dark-hued Krishna

Ushaji was thirty years old now. Singing the glories of Krishna, she felt like discarding all other social constraints.Isolation would often make her sit in close proximity to Shri Thakur in maun, a vow of absolute silence. The dark-hued god was observing her desire to move in delicious anguish for union with her teasing, elusive and insistent paramour.

Yearning to Serve Krishna's Lotus Feet

Probably the matter dates back to September 1955, when He fixed the time span as one and a half years for her to be detached from all fronts. She could envision the idyllic and sensuous Vrindavan  where the lyrical Yamuna flows and the perfect landscape is besprinkled with the dust of Krishna's feet.

Perennial Quest of Mankind for Divine Love

The examination days seemed like decades.

 "Soon, I will be released from these refrains and spend time in attending to the needs of Thakurji. I will pester Him, cajole Him, adorn Him, pamper Him and develop an all-consuming intimacy with the Lord. For several years His loving tenderness helped me fulfill my responsibilities," she would muse."

Doing duties relegated by Krishna, she was focused on the perennial quest of mankind for a divine and transcendental love. Another birthday passed by in this process and her departure drew closer.

Possibly this was the last year and final session of her regime at the school. She submitted her resignation to the managing committee. It seemed as if lightning had struck. The matter was concealed and had just reached the teachers. Teary-eyed and perturbed they went to Bahen ji. The committee made an indefatigable endeavour to convince her but in vain. Throngs of people headed towards her.Seeing love streaming down their eyes and their plight, she silently reassured them.

Slowly this issue leaked to the students. The whole lot ran from their classes and wept with sobs wracking their frames. The day had dawned with joyous ecstasy for Bahen ji but had dampened several hearts with dejection. Hordes of girls ran to question Bahen ji about her decision but could not muster courage on seeing her serious demeanour.

Shri Billavmangal ji & Child Krishna

It rarely happens that rasikas steeped in the love of the handsome god, who have relished the joy of Vrindavan's blossoming kunjas and winding creepers caressing the trunks of trees, who have savoured the tribhang form of Krishna, waiver from their stand. Shri Billavmangal ji Maharaj affirms that compassion can impede those who want to live a life dedicated to Krishna, the colour of the condensed sky. 

Nature was Numbed & Chirping Birds Quietened

It was quite late. Bahen ji got up and headed home. The sound of sobbing could be heard, nature was numbed and the chirping of birds was quietened.The satsang bhavan where leelas of Krishna had been narrated for ages, strived to attract her. The trees and creepers seemed to lament the painful separation.The empty classes, four-walled office, chairs and tables posited there were silently grieved. As revered Bahen ji got up to leave her saree got entangled in a shrub. It seemed as if the plant was trying to stop her with its spirited antic as the last resort.

The scene had not yet settled. Loving towards students,she was not merely a teacher but their sister, mother and a well-meaning friend. Along with education she sowed the seeds of spirituality and even those who were not inclined towards religious devotion were blessed by her presence.

The Shivalaya and enclave of five deities, who were familiar to her scurrying around, doing several parikramas and her proximity, watched stupefied.

Shri Lakshmi-Narayan

Resplendent in their temple, Laxmi-Narayan were visible in the Radha-Krishna form for her.Once fatigued she had come to this temple with devotees.Covering her with His patka or sash, Lord Narayan lifted her and took her into the shrine as Krishna.

The second day had dawned and everyone was wary about the outcome. 

One girl took up a banner and shouted slogans on assembling the students," Bring back Bahenji! You must give in,Bahenji." 

The campaign was led by Vimla Vaidh to Usha ji's residence. An uneasy silence loomed, soon after.

Bahen ji accepted their greetings and explained," I am here. All of you can drop in when convenient."

 Possibly this assurance succeeded in pacifying the surging resentment. Wiping tears, the girls left. A semblance of normalcy set in with this facility of interacting with Bahenji intact.

She was completely free from the workload of school now.The Sanatan Dharam Sabha had reluctantly accepted her resignation. Gradually her heart moved by the students' ardent entreaties was also calmed. Time was usually spent in Shri Thakur Seva and in recounting His divine play. She had never been interested in idle gossip.

While invigilating students who came to study, she saw a scene with eyes wide open." The girls were giving their examination when she sighted a new dalliance of Radha-Krishna simultaneously.

Handsome Krishna Doing Shri Radha's Shringar

"You,(handsome Krishna) were engrossed in doing Shr Radha's shringar while she was thrilled by your touch. After adorning and making Her go into a trance, You enacted several beautiful dance mudras to captivate Her. But these sakhis are no less shrewd and they caught You red-handed. The cowherds also spotted your secret move but gullible as they are, could not grasp a thing."

Reflecting on God and sighting His divine play is not destined but a matter of personal experience. Saints invariably see the dark-hued god wherever they look. Therefore her body, mind and eyes were apparently invigilating the students while relishing the amorous frolic of Radha-Krishna alongside. This joyous abandon can not be assayed by logic and neither does a man with inhibitions have any stand here.

Shri Vrindavan

One fine day seeing her passionate longing for Vrindavan her father opined," You can go to Vrindavan but return in two days." 

 She wanted to clarify that it would be tough to do so once she left but he would misunderstand. However it struck her that it was a perfect chance to depart hurriedly. .

She reflected," I have never done anything stealthily. I will leave for Vrindavan in the presence of everyone and only after taking permission." 

 The eldest, she shared a friendly rapport with her father due to her mature perspective. 

Once he made her promise," You will not go to Vrindavan as long as I am alive. And take me along, in case you do ."

Gullible at that point of time, she had conceded. Even on coming to Delhi, she thought of returning to Ambala. 

Supreme Lover Krishna

Being naive she firmly believed that if one had hiccups someone very dear was missing you. All of a sudden she remembered Krishna, the Supreme Lover and the hiccups stopped. Her absent-mindedness transformed in to the deeper ecstasies of devotion.

She wondered, " Does He truly remember us or bear us in mind?" But there was no need of any proof as of now.

Chapter 14: The Revolutionaries' Change of Heart & Salvation of a Horse (Usha Bahenji's Birth Anniversary: 30th July,2026)

 

Shri Madhavacharya's Philosphy of Shudh Dwait or Pure Dualism

In the theory of dualism happiness is linked with sorrow and the forces of good and evil are balanced in this mundane world. Where hope and longing are harbingers of joy, adverse conditions do not seem delightful.In case everyone becomes modest, wealthy and noble, the entire play of the world's creator would be futile.

Violence & Nonviolence

Violence and non-violence are two ends of a constant cycle according to the principle of evolution. Those who are vulnerable and unknowingly head towards evil, repent on becoming conscious of this fact(Most people are of this disposition.)

Shri Usha Bahenji's Loving Tenderness

Elders believing in highly restrictive conventional norms, the youth influenced by modern perspectives, spirited boys stepping into adolescence, young children and even infants were irresistibly drawn towards Usha Bahen ji's magnetic persona. Each felt that Bobo's affection was reserved exclusively for him. Usha Bahen ji distributed Krishna's loving tenderness with a generous hand. Eminent men would certainly be impressed by her simplicity, sentimentality, good-hearted, calm and compassionate nature, which exuded a sense of affinity.

Lord Vishnu Resides in our Heart

Once a learned brahman of the Sanatan Dharam Mandir in Ambala Cantonment saw her horoscope and foretold, "Lali! Society will throng to you even if you are secluded in a forest." 

Having implicit belief in Radha-Krishna and completely relying on them-she expressed the in-dwelling Vishnu by ecstatic and evocative expressions of love towards all.

She strongly advocated non-violence but during her tenure as a principal she had to punish children. Thrashing was not in her nature and she would make them stand up at times. 

On doing so, she would entreat," God,I have taken this step merely for proper functioning of the school and the student's improvement." On some pretext she continued to stand for that time span.

A Donkey Blocked Their Way

Her gentle disposition was apparent in every act. Once while journeying a donkey blocked their path obstinately and would not budge. The writer pelted a small pebble which the donkey hardly felt since he was so used to being beaten. Bobo was furious and said that Vijay had hurt her in the process. Affirming that she would not drink water for the day,she wept and had to be placated.

Returning from Delhi by Train

Once it so happened, that she was returning from Delhi with her father by train. Some young men shared the compartment and bragged about tales of their courage.This event occurred after India's independence when people fumed with indignation against the British Rule and insurgency surfaced off and on.

She listened and when they calmed down, managed to make them her own with logical reasoning. These  unruly elements were indeed ashamed of their deeds.

Meanwhile they arrived at Ambala Station and revered Bobo got ready to get down. 

One of the young men offered her a dagger and resolved," Bahen it is a matter of great pride to have great personalities of the likes of you in our nation. We will never err from today onwards. Kindly accept our token which you will probably need sometime."

Presented a Dagger

Seeing the weapon, she explained," Bhaiya I am never going to use this. One should be such a powerful upholder of non-violence that people are influenced; voicing your opinion comes much later."

" You must accept it as a symbol of the turning point in your brothers' lives., The youth insisted,

People saw the dagger safely stashed with her later on. The question of bringing it into use did not arise.

Deliverance of a Horse's Soul

A Tonga

The matter dates back to around 1975. Revered Bobo was returning from Krishna Nagar in a tonga. Sushila Bahen ji, Darshan and Vijay accompanied her. When the carriage drove a bit further than Birla Mandir, the horse's soul earnestly entreated her for its salvation.The tonga rider drove in joyous abandon with the horse's soul facing Ushaji alongside.Bobo was moved by loving compassion. Everyone got down and headed home on reaching Vrindavan. Bobo sent Vijay to find out about the black horse's condition.

The Robust Horse Attained Deliverance

They had come to know earlier that the tonga belonged to Mathura. The robust horse was well nourished and the spirited driver was a denizen of Braj.The very next day when Vijay inquired, its driver revealed that the horse was very costly and the owner would religiously attend to his needs. Not having the slightest inkling of how the sturdy horse gave up its life with no earlier illness, they were in a state of shock and its owner was deeply grieved.

When Vijay narrated this scene to Bobo she revealed the entire incident to Sushila Bahen ji, Darshan and Uma.

Revered Usha Bahen ji Meets Sushila Bahen ji (Usha Bahenji's Birth Anniversary: 30th July, 2026)

Revered Usha Bahenji (left) Meets Sushila Bahenji

People with similar perspectives, mindsets, bhavas and devotion for one's favoured deity invariably gather together. Relishing madhur rasa,the collective identity of the gopis serves as an element in their devotional strength and love for Krishna is reciprocated and thus made complete. The coming together of revered Usha Bahenji and Sushila Bahenji was based on the similarity of their bhavas, love flowing towards the Lord.

Post & Telegraph Service

Sushila ji's father left Lahore as 1946 set in and willingly joined the post and telegraph service in Ambala. He began staying at his brother's house with his two daughters. Sushila Bahen ji took her younger sister Nirmala Sharma to the Sanatan Dharm Girls School for admission to the first class. On the other hand the lawyer's daughter, at whose bhavan Pandit Jai Narayan stayed on, took Sushlilaji to make friends with Usha Bahenji.

The Indian National Congress

The protagonist of our biography was president of the Congress. She asked the lawyer's daughter to get Sushila Bahen ji to the Party's meeting. All members were present next day and Sushila ji also came. Several discussions ensued on patriotism, politics and spiritual topics. Usha ji's sweet voice, lovable and impressive persona moved Sushila ji. A mere introduction turned into serious friendship but Sushila ji could not be particularly influenced by Usha ji's political life.

There was a scarcity of teachers in the Girls School at this end. Sushila ji was convinced by the Sanatan Dharmis to join as a school teacher and Usha ji took charge of the school again when they requested her father. Both the friends worked as colleagues now. Their friendship became so intimate that the absence of one made the other uneasy. They met in school and later for satsang and worshipping the deity in the temple.

Shri Radha-Krishna with Sakhis

Always eager to catch up with each other, their discussions were soon confined to spirituality. Dark-hued Krishna, His leelas or divine play,  beloved Shri Radha, and the gopis, Her kayavyuhas or replications, became the centre of their talk. They appeared as two distinct individuals but were in essence a singly entity.

Once Sushila could not attend a Congress meeting. The next day when Usha ji asked the reason for her absence Sushila hesitantly showed greater interest in the sermon on Vaisakh at the temple. Bahen ji was certain that religion had more weightage than politics. Now their kinship became more intense and transformed into satsang because of spirituality.

Visualising Krishna as the World Around Them

They often met, discussed shringara bhakti (a certain spirituality that can arise by indulging in love) and the Lord's divine play. Krishna existed intensely in their hearts when they sang His praises and dwelt in their longing for Him. They began to know their friend not as a separate singular god-like body but mystically visualized Him as the world around them.

Kandhla Station

At the other end Pandit Jai Narayan had taken deeksha from Shri Purnanand ji Giri. A desire to live as a renunciate, tugged him intermittently. Consequently he resigned and the entire family had to shift to Kandhla, their ancestral village. Sushila Bahen ji was to give an examination and both the like-minded friends got a chance to live together. Enraptured by Lord Krishna, their nights transformed into dawn but they constantly relished His rasa.

Work pressure increased for Usha Bahen ji. Creating poetry was her innate virtue and it was her disposition to talk of God's glories. She had to work for the Congress due to love for her nation and run the school simultaneously . Alongside, she was steeped in spirituality and passionate assurances of Krishna.

After giving the examination, Sushila Bahen ji had to shift to Kandhla (Muzzafarnagar). Soon after, their conversation on the divine play of Krishna transformed into correspondence. A letter was penned every day to be posted and a reply was sent from the other end.

Sushila Bahen ji and her family came to live with an uncle in Delhi for some reason. Her love for the dark-hued god gradually escalated and singing Krishna's glories was at its zenith. An ardent longing to relish the joy of His presence tugged Sushila ji and she wanted to run to Him.

One morning in October 1950 there was absolute silence in the house located on Baird Road, Delhi. Scouting around, asking relatives, a vigilant search was on for Sushila Bahen ji. She was nowhere to be found and they even inquired at Usha Bahen ji's residence in Ambala.

Shri Radha Madan Mohan Temple, Vrindavan

Hungry for Krishna Sushila ji had fled to Vrindavan, to hear the dark god fluting in its blossoming pastures. She knew nobody except Shyam, the colour of the condensed sky and spent the night in a field in front of the Madan Mohan Temple located on the banks of the Yamuna. In joyous abandon she braved the biting cold without any woolens on her.

Mathura

While having darshan of Bihariji she met a family of Bengal and they took her along. Moved by her loving tenderness, they were instrumental in getting Bahen ji a ticket for Delhi. Spending some days in Vrindavan and Mathura, Sushila ji returned to Delhi. The religious rapture she experienced on coming close to Radha-Krishna, lent a certain stability.

Straight away she went to Usha Bahen ji. Everyone was thrilled on getting news of her arrival. 

"Don't toss your heart in the street," Usha Bahen ji felt that love for Krishna,the focus of  their ardour, should not be flaunted

She considered Shri Thakurji, whose seva she did, to be a svarupa, the living presence, of Lord Krishna. 

"Cant you clearly see Krishna in Him?" she asked Sushila ji as she pointed towards Thakurji.

Even on seeing her religious devotion it was tough to ascertain the access revered Usha ji had to the most intimate transcendental exchanges of Radha-Krishna. She had close contact with the greatest of saints but remained an enigma, being secretive about her sentiments and due to her austere simplicity.

",My beloved Krishna, you took her along. What greater good fortune could she have! And there is no point being jealous of this fact,"apparently Usha Bahenj i did not support this act of Sushila ji but truly respected her sentiment

We can figure out her intense closeness to Krishna by Sushila Bahen ji's comprehensive compilations of Ushaji's experiences. Once this diary fell into Usha ji's hands and she added a word or two as correction to make the writings easily understandable. Otherwise she was so averse to publicity and propaganda that no one truly understood her as long as she lived.

Shri Radha-Krishna were Visible in Usha Bahenji's Yugal Sarkar

What was the need to flee in this manner?"Usha ji remarked on confronting her.

For the very first time, Sushilaj i felt that Krishna,the Supreme Lover, she had been hungering and ardently longing for was visible in the svarupa of Thakurji whose seva she did. Surely, He invaded her heart with His passionate eyes, melodious flute-play, romantic smile and loving assurances. Steeped in the terrifying rush of Krishna's love, He was easily attainable for her now.

Her father came to fetch Sushila ji in Ambala. She went to Delhi and further on to Kandhla once again to live with her parents, absorbed in the same bhava.

Lord Krishna, Supreme Lover of the Love Struck Soul

Steadily, seriousness set in and stability suffused Sushila Bahen ji's religious sentiments. She became introspective and experienced the deeper ecstasies of devotion. The learned liken this blissful state to an unchanted japa, the upholders of justice and Vedantas call it the eternal Brahma Jyoti and yet the realm of lovers (Krishna is conceptualized as the ardent but often faithless lover of the love-struck soul) is strange.

Dark-hued Krishna Resides in Our Heart

Krishna alone produces from Himself the spectral revelation wherein worshippers come to find the god within themselves. Thus the ultimate lesson of Krishna for His devotees is that the search for the other is the search for the self. The multiple is ultimately one. And yet this search for purity and peace cannot be made except with energy, and joyfulness and love.

Revered Usha Bahen ji and Shri Sushila Bahen ji shared a lifelong association and we will narrate its episodes from time to time.