Chapter 19: Seva of Shri Thakurji ( Bobo ji's Birth Anniversary: 30th July,2026)

Bhava is Love Flowing Towards Shri Radha-Krishna

 Religious devotion has been considered superior to karmas and knowledge whereas bhava is love flowing towards Shri Radha-Krishna. When Krishna is seen as the object of longing and of a love expressed in the cry of the enraptured soul for god, we cast off all worldly cares and move in a delicious anguish to His side.

Shri Thakurji's Seva and Living Presence

Seva and bhajan have an inseparable bond in the perennial quest of mankind for a Divine and transcendental love. The individual idol of Lord Krishna which is Thakurji becomes a svarupa of His living presence and we experience the deeper ecstasies of devotion as per the intensity with which we attend to His needs.

Shri Shri Ramanujacharya ji gave tangible form to Lord Ranganath. Shaligramji incarnated as the Supreme Being for Nimbarkacharya ji and was his inspiration. Whereas Shri Shri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu ji's life points towards Lord Jagannath lilas or divine play.

Shri Nath ji Incarnated for Shri Vallabhacharya

Which Braj devotee is unaware of Shri Shri Nathji's astonishing character. He incarnated for Shri Manmahaprabhu Vallabhacharya ji and Goswami Vithalnath ji and was close to the ashtachap kavis( a group of eight Krishna poets who lived at Govardhan in the later sixteenth century.) His svarupa would sport with them, visit them and relish milk along with other delicacies. Besides,  we have the playful dalliance of Shri Madan Mohanji, who spared no effort in escalating the grandeur of Sanatan ji.

Shri Shri Banke Bihariji served by Shri Hari Das, Shri Radha Ramanji attended by Shri Gopal Bhatt and

Shri Shri Radha Vallabh ji Honoured by Shri Hit Harivansh Mahaprabhu

Shri Shri Radha Vallabhji honoured by Shri Hit Harivansh became the living forms of Krishna in Vrindavan. In addition, no Braj devotee is unaware of the playful dalliance of Shri Gokul Nathji and Shri Gokul Chandramaji residing in Braj.

Similarly several bhaktas have sighted the amorous frolics of Bobo's Thakurji. Initially Bobo's great-grandmother (pardadi) used to do the seva which has been continuing for the past 125 years.Grieved, she had no other recourse because her husband had passed away at a young age. Attending to Thakurji's needs particularly escalated after Bobo took over.

Shri Usha Bahenji Inherits Thakurji in 1948

Bahen ji had inherited Thakurji from her dadi in 1948.The related heightening of spiritual experience, well within the contexts of religious aspiration, infused the service at sunrise, noon and sunset. Several people were attached spiritually and helped out as far as possible.

Shri Rang Bhagwan's eminent seva, the enthused seva of Shri Radha in the Nimbarka Sampradaya, the idealistic seva of the Gaudiyas, and the pampered seva of the Pushti Margis with remarkable affection for Shri Radha Vallabhji, all converged and became tangible in the seva of Usha ji.

Shri Radha Vallabh Thakur

I clearly remember that Goswami Shri Lalit Charan of the Radha Vallabh Sect was very pleased on hearing about her dedication. While going with Sushila Bahen ji for a dip in the Yamuna, Usha ji would visit him at times. Hearing her perspectives on the thousands of padas sung in daily and festive use he was delighted.

Usha Bahen ji clearly distinguished seva,service to the Lord's svarupa, from puja or ordinary honorific worship. When the devotee attends selflessly, without expectation, to the needs of the Lord and assumes a particular relationship with Him, the idol becomes a form of the living Krishna.

The idol of Krishna is a Svarupa of His Living Presence

She could not tolerate the use of words like metal or stone for the svarupa. Once some devotees of the south visited her and one of them promptly asked which metal her icon was made of. She said it was obvious that their devotion had not perfected or they would sight the living Krishna in Him.

Manasi Ganga, Goverdhan

 .An incident occurred in 1968. Revered Bobo, Sushila Bahen ji, Maa and Shri Manohar Das ji of Venu Vinod Kunj were staying on the banks of Mansi Ganga in Goverdhan for the Shivratri Mahotsav.They were singing the glories of Krishna in front of Shri Thakurji and His cheeks puffed up with joyous abandon. Their laughter was checked after several hours when His svarupa came back to His earlier state.

It so happened, that everyone was engrossed in narrating the lilas of the Lord. Shri Rama Devi ji,Shri Santosh ji and Sarla ji(bhaktas of Vrindavan) were present. Shri Thakurji imitated the expressions and postures referred to in the padas and this amazing scene was perceptible by all the fortunate devotees.

Shri Ghanshyam Das ji

Once Shri Ghanshyam Das ji came to have darshan of the Yugal Sarkar, Her Radha-Krishna Strangely  the holy limbs of Priyaji were radiant but Thakurji's lotus face and arms holding the flute appeared slightly blackish. He wondered why when Thakurji affirmed with His eyes that He wanted to get a massage of attar done through him. 

Shri Lalit Bahenji

Shri Lalit Bahen ji's  extraordinary spirituality has influenced several people. Amazingly churning curd in her kitchen she felt that someone was standing on the right. After some time she sensed it again and on turning saw Bobo's Shri Thakurji insisting to eat some butter. Taking some butter in a bowl, she ran to Bobo and persisted that it should be served to him.

Shri Santosh Bahenji

The waters of Jhelum abound with love tales of Laila Majnu and Shiri Farhad. Born in a Sikh family of those environs and impressed by Gandhiji's principles, Santosh Bahen ji, the daughter of an affluent father came to Vrindavan, longing for Krishna. Santosh Bahenji and

Shri Sarla Bahenji

Sarla Bahenji were cooking a meal for Thakurji when unexpectedly Vijay dropped in. They kneaded the cooked vegetable with the flour and made a roti which crumbled due to excessive ghee. Apprehensive that Vijay would not relish it they requested Thakurji to do so. Moved by their entreaty, instantly the Yugal Sarkar (Radha-Krishna)appeared and accepted the bhog

Once revered Bobo thought that certain clothes were somewhat old and should be discarded. Soon enough the Yugal Sundar reached Santosh Bahen ji's residence and revealed that Bobo was about to give away dresses which were very dear to Them. Bahenji went and narrated the incident to Bobo and ultimately it was decided that she would not distribute the garments.

Revered Dharam ji

Revered Dharam ji, the guru of Amarnath Sharma a major-general of independent India, and sister of Army Chief V.N.Sharma, is renowned for her exceptional absorption in Krishna and was a very close friend of Bobo. 

" Ushaji and I were sitting and singing His glories. This Thakurji came  as the Supreme Lover and sat between us. We were engrossed and He would tease me and her at times with His finger, which we both sensed!" she had once exclaimed.

Shri Ushja ji's seva had an all-consuming intimacy which has made her Thakurji a living presence of Krishna for all times to come.

Shri Radha Rani Shree ji Temple, Barsana

It was customary for Bobo to visit Barsana on Radha Ashtami. Once the bookings could not be done and the manager of Pili Kothi quickly arranged for them to stay in the personal room of Seth ji inspite of no previous introduction.

Seth ji arrived two days later and did not approve of this exercise. 

Soon after, enchanted by Thakurji's aura, he said," Such a handsome Thakurji will stay on in this room and I will take another."

Though Seth ji passed away and conditions changed, Shri Thakurji is posited in that same room and grand arrangements are made accordingly whenever He goes to Barsana.

A renowned speaker on the Shrimad Bhagwad had great regard for Bobo and valued her opinion. He would say that such a form of living Krishna is only possible by Bobo's seva which was the zenith of attending to His needs.

On the other front Shri Gokul Dasji, a resident of Chandra Sarovar and a Pushti Margi had enthused,"Bahenji! I have never seen such a spirited form as your Thakurji who seems to be virtually speaking. This has been feasible by your pampered seva."

Dr. Achyutanand Bhatt ji was learned in the Shrimad Bhagwad and the principal of a college. Greatly impressed by her way of adorning Thakurji he had affirmed,"The manifestation of her Thakurji is unprecedented because of Bahen ji's dedicated seva."

Shri Abhedanandji Maharaj is a famed saint of the south. He would definitely visit Ushaji on coming to Vrindavan. 

Adulating Shri Thakurji while singing padas he would exclaim," The romantic dalliance of Shri Thakurji is so lively that it makes me ecstatic!"

Bobo ji's Yugal Sarkar on A Swing

Not merely an idol, Bobo's Thakurji would literally talk, reveal His views, accept her service, and get the seva done as per His wishes. It seemed He would actually appear before His devotees who had sweet and total commitment and love for Him.

The matter dates back to 23.4.1978 when a bhog of khicdi was beeing offered to Shri Thakurji. Reclining against a pillow at one end, Bobo watched Thakurji put a mouthful in Kishoriji's mouth and thereafter help Himself to a bite. Smilingly Priyaji ate and kept looking at Bobo who was thrilled on seeing Them relish the meal.

An incident of October 1978 is truly amazing. Bidding farewell to summer, mild winter had sent in and there was a nip in the air. Since she was unwell it was difficult for Bobo to ascertain whether the Yugal Sarkar needed some woolens to cover them and waited for Their approval.

Kishoriji Shri Radha Rani

Putting them to sleep, she slept as well. 

A melodious voice, putting hundreds of lutes to shame, could be  heard,"Cover us with a warm sheet." 

Once in Keli Kanan Kunj Sushila Bahenj i was reading out a lila given by Sakha ji (a sidhha). 

The melodious sound of "A bit louder,"could be heard.

Stunned Bobo looked at Kishoriji who had made the suggestion. Krishna,the Supreme Lover and Radha His Beloved, eagerly heard their playful dalliance and participated when their glories were sung.

The regime of serving early morning tea to the Shri Yugal was being followed for some time now. Keeping the bhog, 

Bobo would invariably ask, "How is it?"

Priyaji, in Her lute like voice ,answered today,"Slightly sweet."

Everyone found the tea to be a bit sweeter that day.

Shri Radha-Krishna Wanted to Sleep Longer

Bobo woke up slightly late on 8th October 1985. This made her depressed. 

Seeing her in this state Priya-Priyatam naturally explained,"We ourselves wanted to wake up a bit late due to the cold and rain."

Singing padas, she would wake Thakurji at daybreak. Arranging to provide light, cleansing His mouth with cold or warm water as per the season and the sequence of bathing was worth watching. Serving bhoga early in the morning and doing shringar had her sentimentally involved. TheYugal seemed highly pleased with the play and choice of colours, beautiful and fitting dresses and were a treat to behold.

The Pushti Marg

Ecstatic and evocative expressions of love are essential for the seva of Krishna or else it is mechanical.She was delighted to know of this bhavana in the Pushti Marg. Complete absorption in the joy of Krishna is the mental perception whereby we begin to know the Krishna that abides in our hearts.

Round the year sequence began with muslin dresses, on to synthetic textiles in the rainy season and satin thereafter. Thick garments at the start of autumn, velvet, cotswool and then warm ones. Preferring white in summers, golden in winters, green in autumn and yellow in spring,the choice of colours was in accordance to Usha ji's sensitivity.

The adornments on coming into contact with Shyama-Shyam became living sentient beings for Bahen ji. If for some reason a dress or ornament did not adorn the Yugal she would assure them of their turn and the joy of proximity to Shyama-Shyam.

Becoming a living presence,Thakurji gave her energy, clues and interacted with her, making her relish the deeper ecstasies of devotion.Shringara was not time bound. Willingly He would get ready very soon sometimes and the process would take hours at times.

Fanning Shri Radha-Krishna

Occasionally giving us the honour of doing seva she would not let laxity creep into the steadfast norms and depended on nobody. Bhog was served in accordance to the seasons. She made an indefatigable effort to fan Radha-Krishna herself in summers, as far as possible. Personally she remained without a fan in the sweltering heat. She endorsed that there is no insignificant or great seva.

Shri Nath ji's Chhapan Bhog

 "One should check if the bhog is hot and seasoning is perfect", she asserted. 

 Bobo was very pleased to know that tasters had been particularly appointed for the seva of Shri Nathji. Her bhavna of 'tatsukhe sukhitva' was predominant.

Many a times,Shri Thakurji would suggest the dress He preferred to wear. One can sense a particular tenderness affecting objects which come in contact with Thakurji by touch. By acknowledging her seva,Shri Radha-Krishna made her conscious of Their living presence with energy and joyfulness and love.

Usha Bahen ji would always say," If at any point of time my physique is deprived of service then this body will certainly end."

In the course of time she had become increasingly weak. There had to be some excuse for the body to depart so on the fateful day when she could not attend to Thakurji's needs Bobo went into close proximity of Shri Radha-Krishna forever.

Chapter 18: Ushaji's Loving Tenderness & Higher Education-Introduction to Vimla Nevile (Bobo ji's Birth Anniversary: 30th July,2026)

Loving youngsters and respecting elders, Munno pleased everyone with her pleasant disposition. She was known as Bahen ji and Bobo (elder sister) amongst colleagues and family members.

Dark-hued Krishna Playing the Flute in Pastures of Vrindavan

Going to the temple was a normal practice. Seeing her affection, affinity and closeness for her students it seemed they shared a strong bond.Motivated by her worship and dedicated devotion to Krishna they cast off worldly cares and family opposition and longed to head towards Vrindavan, to hear the dark god fluting in its blossoming pastures.

The clicking of sandals could be heard from a distance. A frail, meek lady bundled in a saree, strode by speedily. Wearing a plush coat, Bobo, an icon of love, met passersby.

 

A Woman Begging for Food

A maid begged,"Bibi! I need some food,"and she was moved instantly.

An onlooker was stunned at the distinguished lady who had won accolades at the kavi sammelan yesterday and lectured on patriotism the day before, sparing time to simply listen to the woes of a poverty- stricken women.

Every day she would be draped in a new sari. She would use all the appealing accessories got by her father, like coiling her hair in a net.

 "Munno! How many saris do you have?" Once her professor had asked

Ever since she did not keep any more than two, wearing one and washing the other.

Shri Usha Bahenji Wearing a Coarse Sari

Those who have seen this distinctive principal, renowned poetess and social worker clad in a coarse sari, ordinary paduka (slippers), dishevelled hair, a bindi of Thakurji's prasadi chandan, a rough blouse and large eyes, certainly adulated this unassuming persona.

Once the principal of a college in Ambala insisted that she join as its director and she was forced to accept his request. Some students had been posted on guard at the college gate to keep out unruly elements.All the listeners, onlookers and principal were eagerly waiting for Bahen ji.,and a certain restlessness affected the scene.

Someone intervened that Bobo had a fetish for punctuality and ran out, sure that there had been a lapse.They saw Bahen ji simply dressed, merrily pacing up and down under a tree. Everyone raced to get her. 

"We could not recognise you otherwise this impertinence would have never occurred," both the students on duty went up and asked for forgivenes

" On the contrary, I am pleased, because you honestly did your duty," she said, patting their backs.

She had taken a vow to cook a meal herself and eat at home, and followed this regime for years.

Intoduction to Shri Vimla Nevile

Shri Vimla Nevile

With selfless love Bahen ji was sowing the seeds of spirituality in mankind. 

" I see you doing darshan of Krishna at the temple for a long time everyday!"  one fine day,a Bahen came forward and exclaimed."

She was Vimla Nevile and her father was working in the post and telegraph department. He had been transferred from Lahore and come to Ambala.

Having avid interest in satsang, Vimla ji was on the look out for such a group which sang devotional songs to Krishna. Coming into contact with the protagonist of our biography, she developed great affection for Bobo. Bahen ji was absolutely against flaunting religious devotion and a certain serenity seeped into Vimla ji's religious sentiments.

She worked along with Bahen ji as a teacher in the college. We have stated earlier that Bahen ji's spirituality was well within the contexts of religious aspiration in a land of restrictive social constraints.

A Brahmin Child

Usha ji always had great reverence for brahmins and endorsed that a brahmin child is worthy of reverence despite not following religious obligations. God endorses that the brahmin and cow are His holy mouth and she adhered to this norm.

Vimla Bahen ji was absorbed in religious devotion in her proximity and ultimately settled in Vrindavan. Becoming a recipient of Usha ji's blessings she ultimately went to Gaulok, where the dark-hued God forever dwells.

Shri Raj Dulari

Another Bahen,Raj Dulari, came into contact with Bobo ji.Being naive, she was easily gullible which can be harmful at times. One of the lawyer's daughter got her to meet Bahen ji. She was clear-hearted and Bahen ji could sense her loving temperament.

Raj Dulari Finally Resided in Vrindavan

Raj Dulari belonged to a spiritual family and probably they had met because of earlier sanskaras. Finally resigning as principal from a reputed school and steeped in devotion to Krishna, Raj Dulari resided in Vrindavan.

Bobo had vast knowledge of the Hindi language and whenever she could lay her hands on a book she would certainly read it.

A man came to her with a voluminous text. She requested him to leave it and he reluctantly agreed to spare it for a few hours. She began browsing through the book and went into a trance. When she became conscious all the pages had been flipped and the closed book lay beside her. The man arrived at the specified time and he just couldn't believe that she had gone through it. On hearing several concepts based on the book he was spellbound.

Bahen ji had to appear for the M.A. examination and twenty days were left. One of her friends, Shri Vimla ji who gained indepth knowledge of the 'Gita' from her, had arrived three years back.The service she rendered of arranging the texts for Bobo is commendable and she was blessed to propagate the Gita in America. When results were declared in the Punjab University everyone was taken aback. Bahen ji had stood second in the university.

Patiala

Simplicity and innocence were the key attributes of Bahen ji and added to her brilliance.The examination centre was Patiala (Punjab) in those days.Her markeen dhoti which she was to wear had been washed and was wet. Concerned, the other Bahens insisted on packing a small suitcase with some saris.But she wore her damp one and left. Not to hurt their feelings,she carried the suitcase with her. On coming back she returned the baggage as it was, not having used a single dhoti.

One can not cite a single instance where temptation, allurements and so-called worldly pleasures deflected Bobo's perennial quest for union with the Divine.

Chapter 31 (Part 2) Some Special Incidents

Shri Balkrishna Das ji Maharaj (centre) with Deviji (left) & Manohar Baba

Shri Balkrishna Das ji Maharaj (Shriji) spent the time span from 1945 to 1950 in great seclusion. Only Deviji and I were living with Shriji as sadhakas. We got constant satsang and Shriji's closeness. Deviji and I would chant the 'Mahamantra' for ten to twelve hours every day. We would prance around Shriji like children for attaining God-realization. He in turn besprinkled us with his doting affection. This remained our daily routine for three to four years. One day Deviji and I were weeping bitterly at Shriji's feet and praying piteously for God-realization when Shriji welled up with spiritual emotion. He watered us with his streaming tears. Shri Maharajji gave us his word that he would first do our work and then of others.
 

Manohar Baba (left) with Shri Balkrishna Das ji Maharaj

In the meantime there was such a drastic change in the course of events that everyone was puzzled. No one but a saint knows of his conduct.  I would blindly depend on Shriji's guiding word and had been getting the constant affection and fellowship of Shriji till 1953. But I never knew that destiny would devise a strange plan for the future. In those days my single minded absorption in Shriji was such that even God-realization had been given a backseat in my heart. How could Shriji, a true lover of God, tolerate this. Probably this was his way of showering his grace on me for my own good.

Around June 1953, a high class yogi saint Shri Ranchhod Dasji Maharaj of Gujrat, who was considered to be 150 years old, was to go on a pilgrimage to Badrinath with his group of devotees. Shri Vitthalnathji was to accompany him from Shri Dham. 

 

Badrinath Dham

My mind was a bit dejected in those days so I thought that the icy pious ambiance of Badrinath would help me, and decided of going on the journey with Vitthalnathji. The ill intention of leaving Shriji and going on a pilgrimage occurred to me for the first time in my life. The sequence of separations from Shriji commenced from this juncture. Even Shriji could not imagine that I could stay away from him. Even for going to the market I would find it burdensome to leave Shriji at the Ganga Mandir. I had to undergo this span of separation for a month. Nobody could believe that I would be able to live away from Shriji.

Thereafter, I went for the pilgrimage. Apart from Lord Krishna nobody could know the pain which my heart suffered.

Shri Manohar Baba

“ I didn't imagine that Manoharji could live without me; I too can roam about by myself now,” he had remarked after I had gone.

I came back from the journey in time.

Bikaner

In the Asadh[1] month of 1954 Shriji went to Bikaner with Rasik Bhushan, without telling anyone. Coming back after two and a half months he revealed that he had gone for the darshan of Swami Ramsukh Dasji. Shriji's satsang  took place in the homes of known devotees for a few days. 

Jamnalal Bajaj was one of them. Later on he had come with his wife to Shri Vrindavan Dham in 1985. Coming to Venu Vinod Kunj he had himself told of a few incidents which had occurred. They are being reported exactly as they took place.

Jamnalal Bajaj had revealed, “When Shri ji had come to Bikaner in 1954 and was staying in the garden he assigned me the task of giving heated milk to him daily, and I was asked to repeat the Name of God while heating the milk. I used to do the same and Shriji would drink the milk with pleasure. One day I thought that taking the Name of God while heating milk lacked concentration so it would be better to do so afterwards. I took the milk to Shriji without chanting God's Name.

“It doesn't taste the same as it did on the other days,” he instantly remarked on taking a sip. 

I was astonished and speechless.  Hiding the truth in my heart I said that the milk was the same as it had been on other days.

‘I shall drink freshly milked milk from tomorrow without getting it heated!' he said on intuitively grasping the matter. He did so for the rest of his stay whereas I was very ashamed in my heart.

Second Incident which Jamnalal Bajaj had narrated: “ Once, when I had come to Vrindavan I had taken my family and others to Venu Vinod Kunj at 4 pm and talked with Shriji for some time. I said, ' We have to leave day after tomorrow. Besides, I have to request you for something in seclusion.'

' All right,' Shriji had replied.

“Next day my wife and I went to Venu Vinod Kunj and knocked at the door saying, 'Radhe- Shyam.'

Shri Ghanshyam Das ji

“Opening the door Shri Ghanshyamji said,' When Shriji went to rest he told me that two people would come. Get my door opened when they come. They are leaving and I have to bid them farewell.'

‘I asked did he say two people?’

'Yes!' confirmed Ghanshyamji.

“I was overwhelmed with the fact Shriji had come to know beforehand that two of us were coming. Both of us bowed to Shriji and sat down. I prayed to him that my house was haunted and only his grace could get rid of this enigma. Shriji asked us not to worry as the spirit would be removed. Instantly I  told him that we totally depended on him.

“He responded,' When you have faith in me, the problem will surely go away.'

Salasar Balaji

“Coming to Bikaner I went to Salasar Balaji[2] after a few days. There was a person there who could get possessed by the spirit of Hanumanji. I requested him to deliver my house from the evil spirit.

“He sat down in front of the idol of Hanumanji and started speaking in a possessed fashion, ' A saint had come to your house and his svarupa was such. You didn't pay heed to what he had said. The statements of saints should not be ignored.'

“I understood which saint he was referring to but to test him I asked, 'Many saints keep coming to my house. So how can I know which saint said what? You tell me his name.'

“At this query of mine his eyes reddened with anger and he fumed, 'Knowingly you are testing me. Then listen to me, his name is Shri Balkrishan Dasji. He assumes the bhava of a sakhi and stays in Vrindavan. Do you want to know anything more? In future if you test me or someone else you shall come to harm. You have committed a grave offense by this act of yours.'

I begged for pardon with folded hands.

“You are innocent and simple, so I forgive you,” his anger cooled down soon after.

“After some time my house became free from this haunting disturbance.”

Third Incident: Shri Jamnalal Bajaj had further said, ”Two months had passed by of Shriji's stay in the  bagicha in Bikaner. 

Shri Radha Rani

He had to go to Vrindavan for the coming Radhashtami. I had made all the preparations as per the instructions of Shriji. It was time to leave. Meanwhile, some satsangis came to Shriji and he began to talk to them about the Divine in an exalted mood, least conscious that he had to reach the station.

 ' Maharajji! It's time for the train to leave and you have to even take prasad (have meals) at Shrinathji Rathi's place, ' I said by intervening.

'No dear! We will certainly be able to catch the train,' Shriji said with conviction.

“Then he went to Shri Rathi's place for food. We were also accompanying Shriji but he walked so fast that we had to almost run. I was perspiring profusely.  On reaching there he began eating without any worry. Anxiously I rang up the railway inquiry. They said that the train had reached the station at the right time but the engine had not yet arrived from where it usually did. I gave this information to Maharajji.

' Dear! How can the train leave without taking me.' Shriji laughed boisterously, saying

“We reached the station after the meal. Moving ahead Shriji occupied a three tier seat which was vacant.

“The railway conductor boarded the train and bowing respectfully told Shriji, “ Sit with utmost ease.”

“Unwillingly we bade him farewell.”

Radhanpur, Gujrat

On listening to these miraculous incidents from Jamnalalji, we were greatly astonished . So be it! Again in the Magha[3] Month of 1954 Shriji went to Radhanpur in North Gujrat to some previously acquainted devotees. From there letters containing his preaching used to come to us. One of them is being given here without any change:

                                                                                                                  Radhanpur

Most beloved group of devotees, Jai Shri Radhe, Jai Shri Radhe!

Gita Govinda

yadi hari-smaraNe sarasaM mano yadi vilAsa-kalAsu kutUhalaM |

madhura-komala-kAnta-padAvalIM shR^iNu tadA jayadeva-sarasvatIm ||3||

(Gita Govinda 1.4-1)

Sri Jayadeva has clarified the subject of eligibility in his auspicious invocation:

'If your heart yearns to delight in remembrance of Sri Hari; if you are hankering to contemplate upon Him with intense affection; if you are overwhelmed with curiosity to know about His skill in amorous pastimes; then by all means read this book. You will find my lovely poetry to be extremely relishable. Although it is so emotive and mellifluous, if you are not possessed of the afore-mentioned qualifications then you must not read the sweet, soft and savoury string of Jayadeva Saraswati's verses. This literature is not for you.'

Idol of Jayadeva

Again this human birth so rare to attain even for gods and seers has been obtained through the selfless grace of that All-Merciful God so as to fulfill the long desired and ever contemplated meeting of Lord Krishna by being completely prideless, unveiled and fully surrendered.

Union With Lord Krishna

Until man is not steeped in this unfailing, marvellous, incomparable, ever new  pleasing union and dalliance with Lord Krishna, developing every moment, he will remain a worthless worm of the empire of natural whims, devoid of the basic mystic knowledge, deprived of divine intimacy.

The Lotus Feet of Krishna

Man must understand the mysterious nature of the identity of his self by the root of his heart. Without his dharma and the actual nature of his own identity, man only sees, hears, smells, touches and tastes under the cover of ignorance. Man should now give up this labour of enjoying himself and completely surrender at the lotus feet of the Lord so as to frolic with Him by being one of those who are given to close and sweet proximity of serving Him.

Only till our full entitlement and eligibility to attain the ever existent birth right of union with Lord Krishna remain unfulfilled will desires, pride as well as self-esteem, and lust for sex exist. By keeping Him(Lord Krishna) aloof from nature and oneself, one's senseless participation is only to be attached to the mundane world.

Dark-hued Krishna's Ineffable Beauty

This gifted human birth is solely to attain Lord Krishna and to be in perfectly beautiful sweet harmony with the limbs of Lord Krishna. Give it to Him, drown it again in the ocean of His ineffable beauty what is His. Dear ! What else has to be done?

The mind is full of body-sense, there is a wish and a desire to enjoy sensual pleasures. This feeling has made the mind grossly constituent in enjoying pleasures of the flesh. How unfortunate it is, being madly crazy about sense objects and not longing to seek refuge in the all-merciful Lord Krishna, solely worried about one's own wife, children and relations, from birth after birth.

Alas! There is just sorrow and sorrow, hellish pain, rebirth and death, old age and disease, all being results of aversion to Lord Krishna. One only experiences absolute distress. One must ardently long to get freedom from this terrifying fire. Then, why is there no yearning?

The only answer to this is that there is a certain a longing to attain Lord Krishna but it is minimal and of a short duration. Consequently, the heart reverts to the former, painful worldly desires, the very next moment. When the seed of these sensual desires does not exist and an intense constant craving for God-realization remains that averted heart keeps in touch with Lord Krishna's beauteous form and divine play which is so sweet, auspicious and joyous. Simultaneously, attraction to the material world goes on decreasing

Shade of A Tree & Water in a Desert

As the longing to meet Lord Krishna increases in great measure, the desire for sensual pleasures and worldly enjoyments decreases accordingly. Just as a tired, sweating, thirsty traveller walking in a desert, in the month of June (Jyestha) restlessly longs for the shade of a cool tree and wishes for some fruits and water, and soon gets a consoling sign of some refreshing air blowing from a beautiful garden laden with fruits and flowers; similarly the grace of Lord Krishna flowing through saints, sends an inviting call for eternal rest and respite to the forlorn man, lost in the wilderness of the mundane world..

The Company of Saints Brings Us Close to Krishna

By getting the company of saints and physically associating with them, the terror of worldliness turns out to be a dreamy void to the person who finds himself amidst saintly Lord Krishna's natural world and gets a chance of union with the Divine. As such, this experience connotes that there was absolutely no obstruction in uniting with the Divine.

In the creation conceived by dark-hued Krishna, every human being has the resolve to unite with Him, yearns just for Him and is filled with thoughts of realizing Lord Krishna at the core of his heart. Man is imbued with the agitation of attaining ecstatic joy, happiness and being fully satisfied on uniting with Lord Krishna.

When this basic need and desire manifests nature  becomes the only site of dallying with the Lord in that clean, pure and savoury sight, devoid of sensual desires.

The mind which is not in touch with the mundane world which had assumed the form of a veil between the Lord and the individual soul, is non-existent now. It appears that Lord Krishna has removed the veil with His own lotus hands and embraced us fully because of his causeless mercy.

Lord Vishnu's Maya

Since eternity Lord Krishna has been standing in front to meet us and dally with us. But forgetting his manhood, man is clinging to Lord Vishnu's slave girl maya , His power of illusion. Man has no sense at all that this maya or illusory power is Lord Krishna's servant girl, His slave.

He just does not have this knowledge that 'jo kadapi madhav bhaje to maya cheri hoye '

'If man worships Madhava, maya automatically becomes his slave.'

Autumnal Full Moon Night Studded with Stars

For whom is this bright autumnal night? For whom is this firmament decorated with clear blue studded stars created, the vault of the sky ornamented with the moon, and this entire forest reverberating with the flute like sound of the threefold gentle breeze of the Yamuna, the cooing of birds, full of trees laden with charming fruits and flowers? Lord Krishna has arranged all this for the sake of mankind. So that  man reaches the heights of elation and ecstasy on relishing His divine love.

The Gopas & Gopis of Braj are Passionately Drawn to Krishna

We can understand our own essence by thinking of ou real svarupa, our true identity, of the Braj gopas and gopis, and grasp the mystery of Vrindavan. Because these characters are passionately drawn by Krishna. They are imbued as well as inspired by the love of Lord Krishna.

The divine sport of Lord Krishna can take place only with the involvement of His recipients. We can also become one of the characters and get engrossed in the delight of dark-hued Krishna's lila or playfull dalliance.

Gopis' Romantic Dalliance with Krishna

Our own eligibility and worthiness can be recollected by meditating on the love life, beautiful behaviour, domestic duties and dalliances of Krishna's beloved gopis in the forest.

Our heart becomes charming by constantly remembering Lord Krishna, singing the glories of His Name and deeds by ruminating over them and the sensitivities of the gopis, as it is the basic nature of our consciousness. The satttvik[4] guna goes on increasing and the craving to meet Lord Krishna arises. Then the heart wants nothing else except wanting to be passionately drawn by Krishna for relishing His shringara rasa, the sentiment of sweet romance.

That is why it has been said:

yadi hari smarane saras manah yadi vilas kalasu kutuhalam  |

madhur komal kant padavali, rhinnu tada jaydev sarasvatim  ||

                                                                             Your well-wisher,

                                                                                   Balkrishan Das

Shri Vrindavan

After six months Shriji came to Vrindavan from Radhanpur. Staying here for a few days he  took all of us to Radhanpur. Thakurji, Deviji, Krishnaji, Rasikbihariji  and I accompanied him. There he imparted the joy of satsang  by singing glories of the Divine for a month. On the urging of Narayandasji Khuteta stayed for a day at Jaipur  and had the darshan of Shri Govind Devji[5]. Thereafter, we came to Shri Dham Vrindavan.

After coming back from Radhanpur (in 1954). Shriji's younger brother Rajgopalji who had been searching for him for the past so many years came to Shri Dham Vrindavan, locating him. Nineteen years had passed since Shriji had left home. Neither Shriji nor his family had any information about each other. After many years this meeting between Shriji and his brother took place.

Ahmedabad

Jawaharlal Jadiya, a former acquaintance of Shriji, was a big merchant of gold and silver in Mathura. He had begun living in Ahmedabad since the past few years. He had become acquainted with Rajgopalji there. Once, when they were conversing the topic of Shriji had cropped up. Sethji had told Rajgopalji that Shriji was a guru for him. He would come to his place in Mathura, off and on, but stayed in Shri Vrindavan. That was it! Rajgopalji instantly took Shriji's address  and met him at Shri Vrindavan Dham. For all these years, Shriji had no inkling as to who all were there in his house.

Mysore

His parents used to live in Mysore when he had renounced home. He came to know from Rajgopalji that they 

 

Chennai

were now living in Chennai along with the family. Hearing all the details of Shriji's family from Rajgopalji we eagerly wished to visit Shriji's family. On pretext of a pilgrimage to Rameshwaram we kept the proposal of going there in front of Shriji. Getting his permission we busied ourselves in preparing to leave with him.

Shri Balkrishna Das ji Maharaj (Shriji)

There is a strange incident related to this period. A tumour had developed in Shri ji's throat and was not getting cured for the past so many months. Shri Gangaram came to know of this predicament from Dr. Hotichand.

One day he came with a doctor early in the morning.

After seeing the tumour he told Shriji, “There is some defect in your urine. I can identify it as I have earlier worked in a hospital. You must urinate in a tumbler and show it to me. I will be able to diagnose the problem after seeing the sample. Simple-natured Shriji did as he was asked to. Gangaram took the tumbler and standing in the courtyard drank its contents. Whatever was left in the tumbler was given to Dr.Hotichand who drank it.

Shriji kept asking repeatedly, “ What are you doing? What are you doing?” but it had no effect on both of them.

The two of them left quickly without saying a word after they had drunk the urine. Dr Sahab had told us later that ever since Gangaram had been in an enraptured state of joyous abandon for many days. He had implicit faith in Shriji and his feelings for Shriji had crossed all limits. Gangaram was a householder and had been staying in Vrindavan for some years. He had an intimate friendship with Dr. Hotichand. After some time he became detached from the world and took up sanyas  by renouncing the material world.

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[1]     Asadh: month in the Hindu calendar that corresponds to June/July

[2]     Salasar Balaji:  is a place of religious importance for the devotees of Hanuman. It is located in the town of Salasar, Rajasthan. The temple of Balaji, another name of Hanuman, is situated in the middle of Salasar and attracts innumerable worshippers throughout the year.

[3]     Magha:  elevent month of the Hindu calendar, corresponds with January/February

[4]     Sattvik guna: goodness, one of the three constituents of nature

[5]     Thakur Govind Devji:The Hindu temple of Govind DevJi is situated in Jaipur in Rajasthan, India. It is located in the City Palace complex. The temple is dedicated to Govind DevJi (Lord Krishna). The image of the deity was brought here from Vrindavan  by Raja Sawai Jai Singh II, the founder of Jaipur. According to a popular legend, Lord Krishna's image in the temple looks exactly like Krishna's form during his incarnation on Earth.