Chapter 47: Shri Maharajji's Ill Health & Divine Experience (part one)

Shriji Worried About Radha Baba's Maun

Worry, moha, agitation, ailment,, disjointed utterances etc., which are visible in great personalities from time to time are simply symptoms of their state of spiritual emotion. Shriji's days and nights began being spent worrying about Shri Baba's maun, the vow of silence, which was impending.

He used to recite the following pada of Shri Chaturbhuj Dasji during that period, all the time:

Goverdhanvasi Krishna

'  shri goverdhanvasi sanware tum binu rahayo na jaya  ||

shri rrajraj ladeite ladile,

bank chitai musikaya ken sunder badan dikhaye  ||

lochan talphen meen jyon pal chhinu kalpa vihay  ||1||

saptak swar bandhan soun mohan vennu bajaye,

surat suhai bandhiken mudhure madhure gaye  ||2||

rasik raseele bolani giri chadi gaye bulaye,

gang bulayee dhumaree unche teri sunaye  ||3||

dristi pare ja diwas soun tabte ruche na aan,

rajni neend na aavai bisrayo bhojan pan  ||4||

darshan kon nayana tape vachan sunnan kon kaan,

milive kon hiyara tapen jiye ke jeevan pran  ||5||

mann abhilasha hai rahee lage na nayan nimesh,

ek tak dekhon bhanvatou nagar natwar vesh  ||6||

puran shashi mukh dekhke chit chohantyo va aur,

roop sudha ras pan kon sadar kumud chokor  ||7||

lok laj kul kaani hum chhandyou sukal vivek,

kamal kali ravi jyon badai chhin chhin preeti vishesh  ||8||

manmath kotik varnen dekhi dagmagi chaal,

yuvati jan man fandna ambuj nayan vishal  ||9||

yeh rat lagee ladile jaise chatak more,

prem neer varsha karou nav ghan nandkishore  ||10||

kunj bhawan kridha karou sukhnidhi madangopal,

hum vrindavan malti tum bhogi bhramar bhuwal  ||11||

yug-yug avichal rajiyaun yeh sukh sail niwas,

goverdandhar roop pae bali jaye chaturbhujdas  ||12|| '

which means:

' O dark-complexioned One, Resident of Shri Goverdhan, it is not possible to live without You. The spoiled darling son of Braj, smiling with a sidelong glance is your beautiful face. My eyes writhe like a fish out of water, any moment spent in separation from you seems like a kalpa. O Mohan! You enchantingly captivate our ears by playing the flute with all the seven swaras.

Krishna's Flute Play Calls the Cows

You climb the hill top and call out to the cows with a sweet voice. Clouds have caused dimness so You give a low call on the flute. Nothing is appealing since the day You came in;  I can’t get sleep at night, and eating as well as drinking have been forgotten. Eyes yearn to catch a glimpse of You and ears long to hear Your voice. My heart burns to meet Krishna, the soul of my life. The desire of my heart is to see Nagar Natwar, the gallant form of Krishna as the Supreme Dancer, with a fixed gaze, without blinking my eyes. My heart is enamoured in every way by looking at His moonlike face like a water lily and a chakor[1] drinking the nectar of His beauty. Discarding family, honour, prudence and highly restrictive social constraints, my love is specially blossoming just as the lotus bud blossoms with warmth of the sun. Watching the swinging pace of His, crores of Kamdevs can be sacrificed. 

Dark-hued Krishna's Lotus Eyes

His big lotus eyes are a snare to captivate the young maidens. Like the pied cuckoo[2] and the peacock, I passionately repeat that the darling son of Nanda, the fresh dense cloud, should shower love on us. Madan Gopala romantically dallies in the kunja and bhavan, so that I am the marigold flower of Vrindavana and You are the relisher of love, as the capricious black bee. Constantly reside on this joyful torrential hillock for ages. Chaturbhuj Dasji devotedly implores the Goverdhandhari svarupa[3] of Krishna, where He is the lifter of Mount Goverdhan.'

Shriji's Anxiety Escalated

As the date of Shri Radha Baba's adopting maun drew nearer, Shriji's anxiety escalated. His health greatly declined on 29^th November in this worrisome state. He kept vomiting all night, restlessness increased considerably and hiccups began alongside. Assuming that it could be indigestion some home remedies were administered but there was no relief. Dr. Nityanandji was called up from the Rama Dispensary to examine him. Shriji's blood pressure reading was 110/190. The condition was similar to that of Indore. I told the doctor of his delicate state and treatment given to him at Indore. Likewise, glucose was administered to Shriji and an injection was given to control the blood pressure. With this the constant vomits came to a stop but restlessness increased when he would vomit in an hour or so. Next day, a blood sugar test was done and the sugar level was found to be 270. It made the doctor anxious. 

Seva Ashram, Vrindavan

We decided to get Shriji admitted to Seva Ashram and consulted Shri Shakti Maharaj, the secretary of Shri  Ramakrishna Mission Seva Ashram.

“All these are complications arising due to blood sugar. Get him admitted at once,” he instantly suggested on hearing of Shriji’s condition.

Shriji was taken to Seva Ashram right away in Swami Kunwarpalji's car. Investigations were begun and all the tests were done by 2^nd December. Treatment controlled the sugar but there was terrible pain and inflammation due to the stoppage of urination. It was unbearable to see Shriji's plight at that time. 

Bhopal

Shri Hiralalji was called from Bhopal by a lightning phone call. He came immediately, getting daughter Radha along with him. Seeing Shriji's critical condition on the fourth and fifth day we began thinking of taking Shriji to Delhi but that is when Shriji's intimate associates told us that this condition would continue till 6^th December. Shriji got high fever on 6^th December. Radha and I were sitting by his bed side. Some incoherent words flashed forth from Shriji's mouth, and an implication of his bhava stithi [4] was felt. Putting my ears next to his mouth I listened and began noting them down in my diary. Shriji became quiet after half an hour. On touching him we saw that his fever had gone done completely and he had begun looking healthy.

We used to visit the hospital in groups of twos. When Kusumji reached the hospital, Radha and I came home. I had hinted at the state of venerable Shriji to Kusumji.

 “Well! What is going on at Gita Vatika at this time?” After I had left, Shriji called her close to him and asked

“ Venerable Baba would have started his maun by now, leading to silence looming all around,” Kusumji assumed and replied.

Parikrama at Gita Vatika

“ No! I can see that parikrama  is going on at this point in time and there is quite a lot of hustle and bustle all around,” Shriji responded after a pause.

He also told us who all were present and where they were sitting.

“I am also there at Gita Vatika and begin reciting,'smaratu mano mam nirwadhi radham |' ( my heart remembers Radha eternally) Shriji added.

Shri Phogalaji stops me and says that revered Baba would be exhausted by the time I complete recitation of the pada. Thus I do not complete the devotional verse and stop where I am. Shri Baba looked at me and smiled on my keeping quiet. I was sitting still.”

On asking Shri Thakurji when he returned from Gorakhpur we came to know  that it was exactly the same time.

Venu Vinod Kunj

When Shriji came back to Venu Vinod Kunj on 8^th December,  completely cured from Seva Ashram Kusumji asked him, “When you were unwell and getting treated at Seva Ashram some words gushed forth your mouth, which have been noted down by Manoharji.”

Gita Vatika

“ I had reached Gita Vatika. I can somewhat remember that there was a spirited conversation with Shri Baba. Well, whatever you have written should not be told now, as I will write them all down and read them out for your knowing. I totally recollect what took place,” replied Shriji.

Shri Bhaiji's Samadhi

“It seems that Radha Baba's maun will not assume an austere form because the atmosphere doesn't appear to be sad. When I reached Gita Vatika in bhava stithi I saw that Shri Bhaiji's samadhi was decorated with flowers, etc., garlands were hanging on the trees, the door through which I entered was also adorned. The door is named Anand Dwar (door of joy.) It seemed as if the festival of Radhashtami was being celebrated. It was my life's first experience of travelling in the sukshma sharira or subtle body[5]. I had actually reached Gita Vatika but could see no acquaintance of mine except Shri Baba,” Shri Maharajji added.

Radhashtami Celebrations in the Cosmos

(I want to state at this juncture that Shri Baba was telling Ghanshyamji  before taking maun, “The festival of Radhashtami is being celebrated in some part of the cosmos. If the heart of some sadhaka  is ready he can behold and relish the festival.”)

Lotus Shaped Seat

“As soon as I reached, I was placed on a high lotus-shaped seat which was very beautiful,” continued Shriji.

Dasya Bhava

Looking at me with a smiling face, Shri Baba said, ' The rasas of dasya when the devotee relates to God as a slave, 

 

Vatsalya Bhava

vatsalya when the devotee relates to God as a parent, 

Sakhya Bhava

sakhya when the devotee relates to Krishna as a friend.

Madhurya Bhava, the Devotee is Seen as Krishna's Beloved

and madhurya where the devotee is seen as God's beloved, are intertwined with one another on an equal footing, they can be relished simultaneously. There is no question of consciousness in this state so what clue can I have about my body? The mysterious  form of Supreme Lover Krishna who is subservient to the Beloved, resides in every bhava whether it is madhur pradhan, dasyamool, vatsalya  or sakha.

Recollecting the concept of karak purush, Shriji said, “There is no place for anything else when the heart is absorbed and steeped in one rasa. Then on becoming a svarupa of karak purush does one remain an integral part of Radha Bhava?”

Dasya Bhava

'Dasya bhava is vatsalya or sakhya which means that dasya remains the principal bhava, whereas madhurya, the sentiment of sweet romance, is indeed madhurya. Intertwined together these three bhavas incorporated within us, become the subject of an experience which is very unique and inexpressible. Dark-hued Krishna appears and can be experienced as compassionate, subservient, helplessly in love and infatuated since ages. Thereafter either vatsalya or prema remains. A devotee is infatuated by Krishna in the sakhya bhava but Krishna is forever indebted and subservient to Prem. This is termed as madhurya rasa where the devotee is steeped in the sweetness of love for Supreme Lover Krishna,” Shri Baba replied.

Love for Krishna Overwhelms the Heart in Madhurya Bhava

' Calling each bhava to be different from the other does not remain a subject of madhurya, and experience only experience remains. If dasya overwhelms the heart, if vatsalya engrosses the heart , if sakhya steeps the heart, if madhurya overwhelms the heart, then the heart simply loses its separate identity and existence; similarly the senses lose their sensibility and power to perform natural activities. The heart alone remains from top to bottom, in every sense organ and the body which is steeped in any bhava.

'This is crystal clear that when the mind rises above nature, disposition and creativity it reaches the heights of madhurya rasa which pervades our inner soul,” affirmed Shri Baba.

Radha Bhava

Instantly I (Shriji) intervened, “You have given me a chance to speak up now. You feel that I possess Bhaiji's rasa laden bhava therefore I will ask in that state that is it possible to finish other tasks (tasks which can by fulfilled only by a person steeped in the Radhabhava)by being absorbed in the Mahabhava and the karak purusha bhava? [7])

'If you say that it is possible then this subject is beyond my comprehension. It could  be revealing the glory of a great person but it would not make me joyous.  

Shri Radha & Her Devotees are Mutually Happy

'Endless births, actions of infinite incarnations, delight and joy can’t be even a speck of Radha Bhava (mutual happiness of Shri Radha and Her devotee.) Why would one be able to accomplish the dutiful deeds of a karak purush even on being overwhelmed by the Mahabhava?'

'Shri Baba kept quiet, smiling slightly on observing the bhava avesha in my sentences. He was simply observing the presence of Shri Bhaiji's bhava laden svarupa in me.

Radha Baba Delayed His Departure from the Mundane World

“The underlying meaning of my statement was that the signal (bhava) of Shri Baba’s  immediate departure from this world must never be fulfilled and he should complete his unfinished tasks by living in this very body for another twelve to thirteen years,. Silently, he accepted what I had asked for and my joy knew no bounds.”

 [1]     Chakor: a sort of partridge supposed to live on moonbeams

[2]     Pied cuckoo: supposed to live only on raindrops, especially those falling during the autumn asterism svati

[3]     Svarupa: form

[4]     Bhava stithi: or awakening of spiritual consciousness,  a state of communion with God. It is related to the sub-conscious mind (chitta). When one’s spiritual emotion is awakened, for that time one transcends one’s usual state of identification with a worldly existence and the awareness of one’s own existence also reduces. Thus in a state of spiritual emotion one transcends the little ‘i’ and identifies with the big ‘I’. Spiritual emotion gives us a spiritual experience of Bliss (Ānand).

[5]     Subtle body:The subtle body is the vehicle of consciousness with which one passes from life to life

[6]     Radha Bhava: When the individual soul realizes its union with the Supreme Being ideally as Radha, where Krishna is the Supreme Lover

[7]     Radha Bhava: Centred on the divine love of Radha and Krishna  the worshipper is required to assume the nature, nuance and psychological state of Radha in her loving devotion to Krishna, this state is called Radha bhava or mahabhava.

[8]     Sakhi: female companion of Radha

[9]     Subtle astral body: the vehicle of concrete consciousness shaped by the pshyche (thoughts, feelings)