madhuryena vivardhantam vaco nas tava vaibhave |
capalyena vijrimbhantam cinta nas tava shaishave ||105||
The Amorous Pastimes of Krishna
O Lord! May my voice be empowered to sweetly describe Your beauty and amorous pastimes.And may the strength to meditate upon and dwell upon Your childhood keep swelling eagerly.
Capriciousness of Krishna's Childhood
Shri Billavmangal ji Maharaj is saying that my voice does not have the ability to speak about the majestic love sports which enhance your madhurya or sweetness. Let me be eagerly desirous to dwell upon Your childhood which is laden with fickleness, in which capriciousness constantly escalates.
Krishna's Madhurya Passionately Draws the Cowherdesses
Billavmangal ji has put his point across very cleverly by saying that it is grandeur which enhances madhurya. Grandeur is otherwise such an intimidating word but it has been sweetened here to a great extent. It is not a grandeur centred on the dazzle of jewels, the flashing glitter of wealth and riches. Herein it is used to enhance Krishna’s madhurya.whose lustre peeps through the creepers of some dense nikunja. Filtering through thick green foliage it seeps out, gazing at which the horde of cowherdesses get immersed in the gush of madhurya, become engrossed in the romantic dalliance of the Supreme Lover and His Beloved, and in the sweetness of their love sports. As fruition a longing for that sweet majestic beauty is inflamed in their hearts, which makes them attain the proximity of the Supreme Lover, and engrosses them in that very majestic form. How beautiful, intoxicating and heart- churning is this majesty. The silence of words not spoken is an indicator of its charm, sweetness and infatuation.
The word ‘shaishav’ is quite misleading… it is a childhood which enhances fickleness. It is true that capriciousness does reside in childhood. But it is not as if Shri Billavmangal ji is longing for a fickleness merely activated by childhood.
Krishna as an Adolescent Youth
The affection of an adolescent youth’s capriciousness, fluidity, juicy freshness and undeceitfulness is endowed with the fragrance of childhood…Rasika Billavmangal , a Sur moved by passionate religious devotion for Rasik Shekhar Krishna says’ This sweet beauteous form of Yours, charming beauty, amorous love sports, the blue-hued lustre pervading every limb of Yours, ineffably beautiful adolescence, intoxicating sidelong glance, sparkling, row of teeth gleaming amidst slighted parted lips, swinging creeper like arms, thick eyelashes- all add up to Your grandeur.’ Therefore Billavmangal ji prays that his voice is forever irrigated by this grandiose beauty of Krishna’s, and is coloured by it. Whatever is uttered from his voice, is written in the order of words and his collection of sentences, end up singing the glories of His beauteous form, romantic dalliances and love sports. May his voice be pacified by Krishna’s sweet grandeur and the sweetness of His lila or divine play.
Billavmangalji Longs to Attain the Ineffably Beautiful Krishna
‘O Shyam Sunder, the treasure trove of my heart. May I be consistently empowered to meditate focusedly upon You while recollecting Your adolescent youth and lilas. May I be capable of meditating upon the stories of Your divine play with immense eagerness. May my ardent longing to attain You continue to escalate with every passing moment. May my mind and soul keep becoming more and more restless to attain You, ‘ request Billavmangal ji. ‘
The Sidelong Glance of Krishna
This desire is so beautifully expressed in the words of Lalit Kishori ji:’
‘ab vilamb jinni karau ladile, kripadrishti tuk hairo |
‘lalit kishori tanman aakul, shrivan chahat basero |
‘Do not delay any longer O darling Krishna, look at me with your merciful glance .
'Lalit Kishor'i ardently longs for You with his heart and soul, and wants to reside in Shri Van.’