Thursday, March 11, 2010

Chapter 25: Separation from Father, Brother's Wife and Son

Freedom from a relationship-eager for renunciation and an opportunity to shift to Vrindavan, her abode.

The Perennial Quest of Mankind for Divine Love

On being detached from the material world if the mind is not attached to the blue-hued god we can waver in the perennial quest of mankind for a divine and transcendental love, of the seeker for ultimate reality within the contexts of religious aspiration.


Shri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa

Shri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa affirms that a brahmin can carry out the obligations of domestic life and be a dedicated devotee but individuated souls desirous for union with the divine have to abandon their home.When renunciation is lodged in love of Krishna, the Supreme Lover, it instinctively becomes attainable by God's grace and does not require efforts.

Well Bobo moved in a delicious anguish to Krishna's side and absorption in Shri Radha-Krishna had reached its zenith. As Krishna's beloved she repeatedly experienced the joy of His presence followed by the emptiness of His absence. An ardent longing to come to Vrindavan, where the god forever dwells, made her distraught.

Circumstances changed and the glorious start of autumn was painful.But embedded within the calamity was freedom from societal constraints and an opportunity to head to Vrindavan.

The Death of Usha ji's Father
Her father was suffering from diabetes.The ailment reached its most fearsome form and he was bed-ridden.His toe had gangrene and had to be amputated. The energy needed to sustain the body diminished but intent on religious devotion he left this temporal world on 9th January 1959. What could be more painful for Shyama, his wife? What would be the plight of the children dependent on him?

He was particularly fond of Bobo and asserted," I do not want a single moment in my lifespan where I would have to depend on anyone other than Munno." Bahenji had joyously agreed to attend to his needs. Not just Munno's father but her companion in poetry, literature and above all spirituality departed.

Bobo was in a state of turmoil. Freedom from the constraint of dedicated duty tugged at her heart strings and she longed for her Supreme Lover Krishna. It did not seem proper to talk on this subject at such a tragic time.

Insistent for Asceticism


 Haridwar

 All religious observances were performed in accordance with conventional norms. For consigning his human remains to a sacred river, Shrish Mohan and Bobo went to Haridwar. Her brother was keen to create poetry and sought Bobo's opinion which led to their friendly bond. At Haridwar, Bobo spoke of her resolve to renounce the world." I will certainly go to Vrindavan. In case I have to stay back, the rest of my life will be spent by adopting the restraints of sanyas ashram (renunciation, fourth stage of life).

She was delighted at her younger brother's assurance,"Munno you stay on for some time. I will help you to the best of my ability in proceeding to Vrindavan." The matter ended there.Close relations went back to their respective homes after the customary observances were over.

Time is a great healer and what God ordains is even more powerful when Yama's dreadful hands snatch away our loved ones.The knowledgeable absorb their mind in learning and devotees consider the wish of God as supreme.

The futility of this material world escalated detachment and Bobo was ready to head for Vrindavan with enthused exultation. Her mother's future was one restraint which needed attention. Though aware that brothers and sisters at home would do the needful, Bobo stayed on in Ambala for some more time.

The death of her Brother's Son

Unexpectedly the eight years old son of Shakti Mohan, younger brother of Bobo and eldest of the brothers, passed away. Everyone lamented the loss of this boy pampered by his parents. Who can possibly assess the mother's anguish?His father was shattered and there was no limit to the dadi's (grandmother's) grief. But the temporary nature of this material world dawned upon the family.

On seeing their plight Bobo consoled them.Seeming a yog brasht ( one who has erred in his previous life while bringing the soul into union with the supreme spirit) he had been born as this boy to complete his sadhana (devotion to god). Sitting for hours with a fixed stance in a posture of yoga  was his regime. It was logical to have this notion about him because of his wise questions and answers.

This adverse condition also passed by.Lost in a reverie, Bobo was least interested in anything; apart from seva of Shri Thakurji and narrating countless legends of the playful legends of Krishna.

Dark God Krishna Flutes in the Pastures of Vrindavan

The thought of moving to Vrindavan to hear the dark god fluting in its blossoming pastures and roaming in its idyllic setting to sight the in-dwelling Krishna, a Krishna that resides in the sap that animates birds and the bees, the trees and the creepers of Vrindavan was overwhelming.Those who have seen her trembling and wiping tears in seclusion would be aware of the depth of despair that carved a new dimension in her love for Krishna.

Her Brother's Wife Passes Away

The wife of her younger brother died a few months after the tragic loss of her son.They had not tided over one grief, when they had to confront the second and a few months later the third consecutive death in a year.

There were two young boys at home and their father was increasingly busy in office. Adjustments at this crucial point had to be made.Sunil and Manoj now remained under Bobo's care. Things calmed down gradually and this cycle of destiny also stabilized.

She pined for the closeness of Krishna, her teasing, insistent and elusive paramour. Her eyes were greedy to see the dark beauty of the handsome god, charming and sensitive, passionate but not lustful, demanding but not aggressive. By ecstatic and evocative expressions of love she wanted to relish his madhurya, and search for the tangible form of the deeper ecstasies of devotion on coming to Vrindavan.

Shri Vrindavan

All timely refrains had collapsed and Bobo was freed from societal constraints.Everyone knew she would not be able to stay back home any longer.Becoming sentimental, no one could muster enough courage to suggest otherwise to Bobo. One fine day all family members gathered and some relations also dropped in. With tears streaming down their cheeks and nostalgic about her golden days, they consented half-heartedly for Bobo to proceed to Vrindavan.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Chapter 24: An Ardent Longing to Head for Vrindavan-Ushaji's Mentor Passes Away-Grace Shown on Some Brothers


The Terrifying Rush of Krishna's Love

While devotees immersed in the terrifying rush of Krishna's love are ecstatic they do not desert the earthly streams and fields displaying Krishna's presence and power.True saints are focused in their perennial quest for union with the divine even on being compassionate towards the material world which is a manifestation of Brahman.

On god's wishes these luminaries become the reason for some lilas which show the spiritual path to hungering devotees. We are going to present such an unprecedented conjunction.

Revered Bobo ardently longed to come to Vrindavan and opportunities seemed favourable. Several times she would complain of her abject state to Krishna.


"Vaidh Sanwariya Hoye,"

 Repeating Mira Bai's lines,"Vaidh Sanwariya Hoye" and at times recalling the love-lorn state of lovers in Urdu poetry she was disturbed.But sure that the teasing, elusive and insistent paramour is eager to grant refuge to dedicated devotees, she was delighted soon after.

Due to societal constraints Ushaji spent time in Amabla by singing the glories of Krishna and his divine play. Unexpectedly an incident occurred. Probably the blue-hued god was to shower His grace on others and Bobo had to postpone her coming to Vrindavan for some time. 


 Shri Hit Harivansh ji

Ushaji's mentor affirmed that she was an authority on the Hindi language but also had an in-depth knowledge of spiritualists like Shri Surdasji, Nand Dasji, Mira, Harivanshji, the ashtachap kavis and Shri Tulsidas.

Sevti Prasadji was ailing and suffered a heart attack now. Several times he would send his students to Bobo for studying and abiding by his command was sacrosanct for her. After a prolonged illness Acharyaji passed away. Obviously his students flocked to her and prayed to be taught.

She resolved not to teach anyone at home after this term. While absorbed in inner meditation she envisioned three boys entreating her. In principle she did not approve of any male contacting her but could not refuse since it was destined by the divine.The session began with six to seven boys and ten girls. Bahenji's method of teaching, vast knowledge and affection, drew them to her and religious devotion marked their closeness. She never demanded fees and such a thought never arose.

One of them was Vishveshwar Bhai, a mild simpleton.The other was Omi Bhaiya,brought up under a domineering and harsh father in the absence of a mother.

Shri Vishweshwar Bhai was from the village but his simple lifestyle, serenity and aptitude in studies was unparalleled. His honesty contributed to his becoming the recipient of Bobo's grace.


Shri Omi Bhaiya

At the other end Omi Bhaiya had lost his mother in childhood. His father was a person of independent views and hot-tempered. Lured by wealth, he had a habit of scolding without reason. Petrified of his father, Omi interacted with tantrics and had spent the earlier part of his life attracted to siddhis (acquisition of supernatural powers by magical means).

Some girls come to study at different times. If a student could not study due to financial constraint,Bahenji would have his examination dues sent to the university from her account. When students willingly paid fees this amount was tucked into one corner of the mattress and she had no objection if anyone took a portion on need arising.

Bobo easily trusted everyone and her self-assurance was so powerful that no one could dare deceive her. For the very first time Ambala had become the examination centre for Sahitya Ratan due to Acharya Sevti Prasad,Bobo's mentor. As fated he became increasingly ill that year and handed over the burden to Bobo, passing away that very night.

An exam was to be held next day and could not be postponed without permission of the Literary Committee. The mortal remains of Acharyaji were to pass by the centre for the last rites. When Bobo spoke of paying her last respects, the students also wanted permission to do the same. On implicit trust, she allowed each student to go ahead and resume his examination soon after.And surprisingly everything went on in a systematic manner.

The sequence of teaching was almost over and a month remained for the exams. Books were being revised.


Shri Vijay Bhaiya

In January 1958 Vijay had been transferred to Ambala. As a matter of chance his office was in the same neighbourhood and he had rented a room nearby. He had spent four years in Ambala while studying till the tenth class. His friend Satya Prakash studied from Bahenji and in the last quarter requested Vijay to study further. Vijay had a fixed mindset because a certain friend had foreseen that he was not to study any more than the tenth. Thus he turned a deaf ear to the suggestion but it certainly evoked a desire.

Vijay's friend approached Bahenji but she refused, not wanting to teach anyone other than Acharyaji's abandoned class. On suggesting again he got the same curt answer. At this end Vijay had lost patience and asserted that if need be he would study from someone else. But destiny had something else in store. A divine force urged his friend and he entreated Bahenji yet again.


Chandigarh University

Revered Bobo was moved this time and the future became explicit. She had to go Chandigarh University for some work and Vimla Nevile accompanied her. While singing God's glories instantly Bobo's sight was fixed on the sky outside the bus. She saw a boy posited there and instantly the vision of three boys she had glimpsed earlier flashed across like lightning. Consenting to have the boy brought, she would consider if he was worth being taught.

Several thoughts tugged at that shy innocent boy.Learning weighed against the realm of ignorance and thus he could not take any decision. Somehow time at office passed by and the glorious moment arrived.

The class was to be held at Vimla Nevile's residence in the Punjabi Mohalla.Vijay arrived there with his friend.Everyone spread out their mats and sat down with student streaming in one by one. The new entrant Vijay sat on one side and waited for Bobo's arrival.


Shri Usha Bahenj, a Frail Enigmatic Personality

In a short while, a clicking sound could be heard. The door opened and short in stature, frail, loose hair, large eyes and a red bindi radiating on her high forehead, clad in a white dhoti and full sleeved white printed blouse of coarse cotton, padukas in her feet, Bobo entered with another Bahen. She had a lustrous face and a keen eye which could see through your innards.Her enigmatic person cast a spell on Vijay. While studying with lowered eyes he strived to see her countenance and she occasionally glanced at him.He seemed to have one peculiarity but it did not take her long to identify the third boy. Time got over and the class was dismissed.

On coming home Vijay was sceptical about whether he would be allowed to attend class tomorrow. The very next day he went to study, well groomed. On seeing his shaven beard,Bobo remarked naturally,"You did well.The Lord does not approve of our dressing in a slovenly fashion." A recipient of Vimla Nevile and her mother's kindness, this boy came to study with an intense affinity.

Gradually the term got over. Two to three other girls enrolled and Vijay was the only boy.The text was needed while teaching and he had the good fortune to sit next to her on the takht (seat made of planks)making us all envious. Boys would come to study but would generally quit after a couple of days. 

Bobo had a great sense of humour and remarked,"Boys do no stay on ever since you have come." Vijay was irritated but instantly repentant. This was just an amusing remark by one who had showered love on him.

Vijay had some interest in bhakti literature. Bobo knew about his attraction, dedication and infatuation with the Divine which was making him circulate mechanically. He was fervently on the look out for opportunities to visit Bobo.


Relishing the Madhurya of Dark-hued Krishna

One day the sky was overcast with clouds. Bobo was enchanted by the madhurya or sweet love of the blue-hued god on seeing the gathered clouds.Taking along two to four students she came to the terrace for relishing the dark beauty of Krishna, the colour of the condensed sky.She asked Vijay if he could pen some lines on the captivating scene. He penned a write up and she was touched on seeing her sentiments somewhat expressed. Up until now Vijay would attend classes at Vimlaji's house but now he had permission to come to Bobo's residence.Steadily Bobo's asceticism and simplicity entered his life, with a sublimation of his waywardness.With her divine energy Bobo had become aware of everything.

A regime of going to class everyday had begun. An attraction and the unknown force of Shri Thakurji abiding in Bobo was fabricating a chance. Going to office and an eagerness to visit her soon after was apparent.

After class Bobo would make Vijay stay back. An icon of loving tenderness she would sit for hours with him, drawn by a certain attraction. She would ask at times if he was bored and invariably got this precise answer, "No, certainly not". Delighting in a peculiar joy he never found this practice strange. Bobo very well knew the secret of his getting prasad along with her when it was distributed. Certainly he had sobered down and had no friend in particular now.

All students were charmed and spell-bound by her manner of teaching marked by true friendship.What she had taught for six days Bobo had them write on the same subject on the seventh day of the week. When electricity went off the students were engrossed in giving the examination while she with a hand fan would continue fanning them. Not just a student and teacher relationship this bond is only possible by great personages steeped in the sweet love of blue-hued Krishna.

Days passed by and the sequence of studying continued. That boy due to her fondness was absorbed in further studies. A test was organized for sending fees to the University. To inspire students, Bahenji declared that she would teach the student who scored maximum marks for a month by giving extra time.

The results of examination had yet to be declared. The contact which had started as a student turned into affinity along with religious devotion. Now delighting in Krishna's playfull dalliances, Vijay's life revolving around the mundane turned towards spiritual evolution because of Bobo.


Sufi Saint Bulleh Shah

She often narrated the incident of Bulleh Shah, a sufi saint. Saint Inayat Shah was his guru. Once Inayat Shat was busy working as a gardener when Bulleh Shah happened to pass by. 

" Bullya Rabb da ki pauna, Aidhron putna audhar launan." Which meant that it is very simple to attain God. Moving away your mind from here(material world), immerse it there (in God).On Bulleh Shah's asking he had replied promptly,

The examination results of her last class were out and everyone had passed with good grades. Some of them who were only concerned with studies got busy in their respective jobs. Others attracted by Bobo's lifestyle considering her as the refuge of their quest or rather Krishna making them relish His madhurya through Bobo, flocked to her at all hours.

Bobo had taken birth for a cause. Conscious of this fact, she distributed the deeper ecstasies of devotion with a free hand and endowed the competence to grasp it.Those steeped in her terrifying rush of love are well aware of the attachment, ardent longing and curiosity which urged them to be by her side, filling their lives with inspiration and delight.